


Come Fly With Me

by LuckyDarling



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky is a charmer, Dollface the dog, Fluff, M/M, Steve Has Issues, character has asthma, peggy isn't the bad guy I swear, romcom, static trapeze, the breakup was cause they both had underlying issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-09 00:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyDarling/pseuds/LuckyDarling
Summary: Still bitter over his breakup with Peggy, Steve has been missing out on life. After getting a not so gentle nudge from his friends, he ends up being signed up for a stationary trapeze class with the hot and charming instructor named Bucky Barnes. Now Steve has to navigate his way through the rocky terrain of a new potential relationship. Will he be able to let go of the past and take hold of his future or will his head forever remain stuck up his ass.





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I hope you enjoy this hot garbage and don't mind the cringyness too much. This is my Stuckyaubb fic and my first ever chaptered fic, not to mention romcom, that I've ever completed, although at the time of posting this, I'm still finishing chapter 5 + edits. I've only ever finished short oneshot fics before so even if I'm kinda iffy (I'm bad at writing romcoms even though I love reading them) on this one, I'm proud of myself for finishing it.  
> Also I surprisingly have a lot of lovely people to thank for this. First my artist Dansphlevels, who will be posting their art on the seventh and worked very hard on their art piece and also for helping edit the first chapter a bit since they had knowledge on trapeze, my beta Megs-bee who put up with a lot and worked very hard to help polish this fic, Babydollbucky for helping me talk out a scene even though it ended up getting cut anyway (I just didn't have the time to weave in Peter's plot line so it would make sense), and Englishghosts for helping me the other day on a scene in chapter 4. Also thanks to the people who I told about the plot and said it sounded interesting.  
> Side note, lol, I don't swear so all curse words in this fic were copy and pasted cause at 22 yrs old, I'm still silly like that.  
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this!!

“C’mon, Steve, stop being such a baby.” Natasha goaded as she opened up the door for the two of them to enter the youth center.

Steve narrowed his eyes at the fun decorations in the lobby. Or, more specifically, at the twisty multicolored vase sitting on the front desk. “I’m not being a baby, I just don’t think this is such a good idea.”

“Oh yeah and why is that? If you’re afraid, then just say so.”

“I’m not afraid,” he said defensively. “I just know my limitations, is all.”

Natasha snorted before side-eyeing him. “Are you sure you’re the real Steve Rogers? Cause the guy I know--”

“Alright, alright, I get it!” He grumbled, elbowing her in the side. “I bite off more than I can chew sometimes and I don’t have the best track record, but that doesn’t mean that I’m completely unaware of it.”

Natasha nodded, a bit too smugly if you asked Steve, before changing the subject. “It’s that room over there.” She points to a set of open double doors to the right on the orange accent wall. “You need to live a little, and if I have to drag you back out into the world by force, I will.”

She didn’t mention the elephant in the room, but Steve knew Natasha was worried about him. Since the breakup with Peggy, he hadn’t quite been himself. He’d been so sure that she was The One, that maybe if not in this one then in another life they would have gotten married, but things hadn’t panned out. She’d met Daniel first, gone to work with him every day in the SSR, and in the end she’d chosen him. 

Don’t get him wrong, Steve and Peggy had a great run, but eventually it had become obvious how unsatisfied she’d been in their relationship. She’d tried to deny her feelings for Daniel around Steve, but he’d recognized that look of longing Peggy had worn. It was the same one Steve saw in the mirror when he thought of her. Peggy was noble and bold by nature, and Steve knew she hadn’t wanted to hurt him. So, Steve had done the only sensible thing in a situation like that: he bit the bullet and broken things off between the two of them.

Of course, Peggy hadn’t immediately gotten together with Daniel--she’d had to sort her feelings out first, but Steve had seen the photos on Instagram. And, well, if Steve was being honest, that was another reason that they’d broken up: she hadn’t fought for him. That had hurt, but Steve could see where she was coming from. Even if he’d been the one to break things off, for the first time since Steve could remember, Peggy hadn’t known exactly what she’d wanted.

Steve didn’t want to admit that he was still bitter about that. It was ridiculous and petty to still feel that way six months later.

“I’m okay.” He said softly, stopping Natasha to grip her shoulder firmly. “You don’t gotta worry about me so much.”

Natasha’s pinched brows and pursed lips clued in anyone who knew what to look for that she was genuinely worried about him. “She was a fool to let you go.”

Steve shrugged sadly. “There’s nothing any of us can do to change a thing.”

“You say the word and I can have his--”

“Ahhh!” Steve interrupted, grinning. “Don’t finish that sentence, I want plausible deniability.”

“Buzzkill,” she smirked, leading him into the large, open - room with exposed brick walls. He knew she was only joking. Doing something to hurt Daniel would only hurt Peggy, which  in turn would only hurt Steve, too. He wanted their happiness; he just wished it didn’t have to cost him his own. Steve rubbed at his chest, wishing the ache away.

“So why are there two instructors anyway? Wouldn’t that just make it confusing?” He changed the subject, none too subtly.

“It’s a hands on class. They need to make sure that if something goes wrong, or someone needs help, there’s someone else there.”

Steve side eyed her. “And how do you know that?”

“I make it my business to know things. Besides,” she consented, “I’ve got friends who work here.”

“Friends who have nothing to do with me being here, right?”

“Of course, Steven. What do you take me for?” She said innocently, her curly ponytail only adding to the effect. Steve rolled his eyes; as if she wasn’t above bribery. Steve wouldn’t put it past her to have brought him here because someone had asked her to help pad out a class, even if what she’d said about being worried about him was still true. He just wasn’t sure that was the only reason. After all, she didn’t just pay for stuff like this willy nilly.

Clapping and movement out of the corner of his eye drew his attention to the two figures swinging on the trapeze. Steve let out a breath of air at the sight. “Whoa.”

Two men, one short with dark hair and the other with sandy blond hair, were performing stunts on one of the raised trapeze bars--good luck getting Steve up on that with his upper body strength or lack thereof. Steve knew that he would surely break his neck even thinking about attempting any of those moves. It was all in perfect harmony, even with the music only playing at a low hum in the background. He wished he could freeze time to paint it. 

“Told ya you’d love this,” Nat said smugly, looking at the spectacle across the room from beside Steve. The two instructors for the class--because who else in a beginner level class could possibly pull off something so advanced--dismounted and braced themselves for the small crowd of onlookers to descend upon them.

The brunette grinned charmingly at the students before dislodging himself with a few words to change the next song beginning to play on the iPod hooked up at the back wall. The sandy haired guy looked up and it was like a like a switch was flipped in Natasha. 

“Tasha, hey!” He jogged across the room, adjusting his deep purple shirt.

“Hey yourself,” she responded coyly, prompting the two of them to continue their way across the room.

Steve stared at her suspiciously before eyeing the instructor. Catching Natasha’s eye, Steve raised an unimpressed eyebrow at her, to which she responded with a flat look. This was the reason why he’d been signed up without his permission or knowledge. Natasha had a crush, and Steve was expected to be the emotional support--even though she could handle herself perfectly fine, if her job as the head of security for Stark Industries had any weight to it.

“I saw you’d signed up, but I wasn’t sure if you would actually show up or not.” The man grinned. He almost reminded Steve of a golden retriever with how much energy he seemed to radiate. “And you brought your friend, that’s great! We could always use more paying customers. I’m Clint Barton, I help run a number of classes at The Art Of Dreaming and I’ll be one of the instructors here today.”

“Steve Rogers.” He shook the extended hand. “I wasn’t too sure about this class since Natasha signed me up without telling me, but what you guys did up there looked really cool.”

Clint’s eyebrows flew up, and he laughed. “Wow, I’m sorry she tricked you into coming here, but I can promise you that it’s going to be a lot of fun.”

“I’m sure it will be.” Steve smiled thinly. Truth be told, as fun as it looked, he was a little afraid that with how small he was, he’d go flying right off the bars and smack into the walls if he got too much air. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’ll thank me later, and you,” She pointed her short, manicured nail at Clint, looking a bit imposing even with that half amused twinkle in her eyes. “I haven’t forgotten last time. You talk to Logan yet?”

Clint looked a bit sheepish now as he shuffled his feet. “Well, no but Wade offered to drag him in here one of these days and help out.” 

Steve could see Natasha’s exasperated disappointment in her raised eyebrows, crossed arms, and hip distinctly cocked to the side. Watching her micro expressions was a bit of an embarrassing pastime that Steve partook in. She’d asked him about it once, so he’d explained that it was because she was a great reference for drawing different subtle emotions. 

Clint raised his hands in defense. “I’ll talk to him, don’t worry, and I’ll make sure Wade isn’t there when I do it. I’ve just been busy lately. You know how it is.”

“Do what?” Steve asked bemusedly. It was funny watching Clint trying to explain away the pointed look on Natasha’s face. No one liked to be on the receiving end of that look.

Natasha just smiled at him and shook her head. Before Steve could ask any further, there was a loud clap and a warm, lazy voice interrupted the low buzz of conversation in the room.

“It’s about four o’clock now, so why don’t we get this show on the road. If any other stragglers come in while we’re busy, try and help them out, okay?”

“Sorry guys, duty calls.” Clint waved briefly before jogging over to the wall opposite the door, where more trapeze bars hung. “Okay guys, everyone take a place by a bar and in a moment we’ll explain what we’re going to do for today. My name is Clint and I’m one of the instructors here today. I’ve worked here for about five years now, but have hung around the place for nine.”

“And my name is Bucky Barnes, either one is fine but please don’t call me Mr. Barnes; it reminds me of my grandfather.” He grinned. “Since this isn’t like your average yoga class, we have two instructors here in case one of you needs help while the other is busy. Just flag him down if you need help and I can’t get to you, or vice versa. There are mats on the ground in case someone falls, so you don’t have to worry about that. So first, we’re gonna start off with some simple stretches to make sure none of you guys pull a muscle or get a cramp while you’re up there.”

Clint pressed a button on the iPod a few times before a low, energetic instrumental song played and Steve got himself settled by one of the bars close to the edge of the middle. He was definitely not looking forward to pulling himself up onto the bar.  Despite Natasha’s comment on the class being too large, there was only about ten of them in the room. Steve still thought he was doing it wrong, even if the professors assured him he was doing just fine. Given Natasha’s background in ballet, she looked like a pro doing even the simplest of moves. Which was no fair, because stationary trapeze and ballet were completely different. He just knew she had to be lying when she said this was her first time taking this class. 

 

It was later in the night, and all in all, the class had been kind of fun, if not a little overwhelming. Steve was settling in for an evening of vegging out on his bed after eating dinner in his lonely apartment. Sam had called a little while ago and Steve had missed him enough to not screen his call. He didn’t do it often because Sam didn’t deserve his  shit . He didn’t always feel like talking, and picking up a call in that kind of mood would only lead to him snapping about something he’d regret as soon as he hung up. But he felt good today. Kind of sore from the class, but content. Besides, he really wanted to hear about Sam’s day.

“I’m glad you’re going through with the class, even if Nat was the one who made you go,” Sam said.

Steve chuckled as he grabbed his tablet and slid it underneath his arm so he could grab his mug of hot chocolate. “Have you ever tried saying no to her, Sam? Didn’t think so. Oh hey, I wanted to ask; are you and Riley having a good time?”

He could practically hear the eyeroll over the phone, but Sam let him change the subject. He was never one to push when Steve wasn’t ready to talk about something; it’s one of the reasons why he’s one of Steve’s best friends. Besides, Steve really did want to hear about their honeymoon trip to Costa Rica. 

“Yeah man, we went scuba diving and then had some cheese blintzes for a late lunch. You would not believe how hot it was today, I could have fried an egg on Riley’s forehead, so we headed back and just chilled for the rest of the night,” Sam said.

“I’m glad you’re having fun. Did you see anything cool underwater?”

“The coral was nice and we saw a nursery shark, but other than that it was mostly just a bunch of colorful fish. Tomorrow we’re going hang gliding. I am praying that Riley doesn’t chicken out or throw up. He lost that bet fair and square. I get to choose the activities now.”

Steve hummed, pulling up Instagram as he settled in for the evening. Steve checked his feed to see what was going on. Tony Stark had a selfie of himself and what appeared to be Pepper talking to someone off-camera in a fancy coffee shop. Sam had a few new photos up from the day’s events, while there’s a picture of Liho on Natasha’s stomach, and a video of Thor’s dog gnawing on his running shoes.

“Man, what I wouldn’t give to be with you guys right now. These pictures look amazing!”

“I know! Can you believe Riley wanted to go to Las Vegas?” Sam made a noise and Steve laughed at the exasperation in his voice. “Nah, man. I ain’t going to Vegas to get drunk on cheap booze and break my bank! If I’m gonna spend that much money anyway, my vacation is going to be somewhere with culture and beautiful scenery. Anyway, look at me going on and on about myself. What’s been going on with you?”

Steve took a sip of his cocoa and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the return to the subject he’d been trying to avoid. “I’m fine, like I said earlier--I’ve been trying to keep busy. You already know about the classes, and nothing’s really been going on lately. Things have been really calm.”

There was a pause on the other end. “And is that what you want? Calm?”

Steve tamped down his frustration, and angrily typed his instructor’s name into the search bar to find his Instagram page. The website listed a number of the instructors’ social media accounts, and Steve was too proud to admit that it was more than curiosity that led him to web stalking the cute guy.

“Calm is good,” he said finally. “It means nothing awful is happening.” And boy, did Steve know about awful happenings. His early life hadn’t exactly been easy, health wise. He’s lucky his mother didn’t keep him in a bubble still.

“It also means nothing especially good or exciting is happening.” Sam sighed on the other end. “Listen, I know you don’t like talking about it, but maybe it’s time to start looking past Peggy.  _ You _ broke up with  _ her _ .”

“Yeah, I know that!” Steve huffed out a sigh.

It wasn’t Sam’s fault he was a bit sore on the subject. He didn’t want to take out his frustration on Sam. “I know that.” He whispered.

“It’s been three months, Steve. It’s time to move on. I’m not saying that you have to get back out there and start dating, but you shouldn’t let her hold this much power over you anymore. She’s happy with someone else. Shouldn’t you be allowed that same happiness?”

Steve didn’t know how to answer that. Of course he wanted that same sort of happiness--he just didn’t know how he would be able to find it with someone else. He was worried that if he did try again, then it wouldn’t be able to compare . Things with Peggy had been, well, not a raging fire, but a low and steady burn that had built up in intensity until it had consumed up all the oxygen and then just as slowly fizzled out.

Which, okay, Steve was an artist, he couldn’t help but come up with exaggerated comparisons, but this one rang true to Steve. So true in fact, that he had created a tryptic in oil paints portraying that very scene.

“If you let yourself, there’s a whole world of possibilities out there just waiting for you to look up. Don’t be afraid to take the leap or you could miss out on some amazing  shit .”

“You should be a motivational speaker.” Steve curled up on his side and set the tablet aside.

“Nah, I’ve got enough on my plate taking care of you and miss emotionally constipated.”

Steve barked out a laugh. “I’m telling her you said that.”

“No you’re not, because if you do then I ain’t gonna give you your super cool souvenir when I get back next week, so be nice to me.” Sam teased.

“Alright, alright.” Steve was totally going to save that bit of ammunition for the future when he’d most need it.

Now it was Sam’s turn to heave out a sigh. “Well, I should get going. It’s getting kinda late and Riley wants to check out the local nightlife.”

“Okay, have fun, Sam.”

“Oh don’t worry, I will. Try not to fall and bust your head open in that class of yours.”

Steve rolled his eyes. Of course he knew. “You were in on it, weren’t you?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny any involvement in Natasha’s scheming. I will say this--I think it’s going to be good for you, and not just because it’s a fun workout, but because it gives you a chance to try something new and gain more life experience.”

“Wow, okay--now I really think you should become a motivational speaker.” Steve grumbled sarcastically, pushing himself back up so he could lean against his large wooden headboard. He’d picked this bedframe specifically because of the large and intricate circular design carved into it, but that's besides the point.

Sam laughed good naturedly. “Take care man.”

“You too.”

_ Click. _

Steve threw his cellphone to the foot of the bed so he’d remember to charge it later. For a moment, he sat there, staring at his hand. He needed a minute to absorb the conversation and just clear his mind. Unfortunately, all he could think about was that hot instructor from earlier and how much he wanted to try that dark hot chocolate drink at his favorite café, Merriment. 

Deciding that it meant nothing if he looked up Bucky Barnes, Steve grabbed his tablet again and quickly typed the name into the search engine. Steve ignored the first link to Twitter--which had to be his, since the nickname was so unique, it couldn’t be anyone else--and instead scrolled to the Instagram link. What better way to get to know someone but still stay unattached? Scrolling through his Instagram page would satisfy some of Steve’s curiosity, but also still retain a sense of being strangers--

Oh, who was Steve kidding? He just really wanted to look at Bucky’s face more, and he was totally going to go onto Twitter later just to see how he really was like in his free time. Steve had to know if this guy was really a jerk or not, even if his gut told him that Bucky was a good guy. He had to be sure. For science. Of course, he was going to check out that Clint guy too--he had to see what kind of guy had captured Natasha’s attention… but… well, he just wasn’t as interested in that at the moment.

The first thing he noticed about the account was that, amongst the obvious pictures of the circus troupe and photos of people who Steve assumed were Bucky’s coworkers, were pictures of a very precious dog. It must have been a mix because Steve couldn’t discern what type it was by the mottled pale grey, beige, and black coloring and the pointed ears. It was very fluffy though. 

Steve contentedly scrolled through the photos for a few minutes, being careful to only like a few of them at a time, and never the ones that Steve thought would make him look thirsty--like the one where Bucky was taking a selfie lying in bed and squinting at the sunlight coming through the blinds. His hair was deliciously rumpled and you could tell from his bare muscular arm and collar bone that he was shirtless. Or like the plethora of gym photos.

It appeared as though Bucky was plenty comfortable with his body.

His phone ringing startled Steve out of his reverie. He regretted throwing the phone away earlier, seeing as he had to move from his comfy position now. Scrambling for the phone, he pulled it to his good ear (his right side where the sounds weren’t quite so muffled.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Stevie, how have things been?” The sweet but strong sound of his mother's voice filtered through the line.

“Oh, hey ma. Things have been good, sorry I haven’t called much lately. How are you?”

“Oh, it’s alright. I had to cover for Mari’s shift at the hospital again, but it was okay. There’s a bake sale at the church this weekend and I’m debating on what to bring.”

“Maybe the apple bundt cake? That’s always delicious.”

She hummed, as if distracted for a moment, but then. “Steve honey, are you alright? You sound a bit off, you’re not coming down with a cold are you?”

“No ma, I’m doing fine. Hey, Nat and I are taking trapeze classes now, you remember her, right?”

“Of course I remember her, we may have only met once but we exchanged numbers. She sends me photos of you sometimes. Why don’t you ever send me any photos of yourself? Your Instagram is all full of artsy stuff, so I don’t even get to see you on there.”

Steve jerked back from where he was scrolling on his tablet, accidentally clicking like on a shirtless picture of Bucky with his puppy. Oh shit. He hurriedly untapped the like button but it was too late, the notification was already sent. Flustered he set the tablet down and gripped the phone in his hand even tighter. “Ma, I can’t believe you’re spying on me! Nat I can believe, but you? Whatever happened to not invading someone else's privacy?”

She laughed. “Oh, don’t get so worked up, I’m only teasing you. We’ve just been worried about you. Ever since you and Peggy… well, I wanted to try and cheer you up. After all, I can’t just drop everything to come up there and see you just because I’m worried. Natasha was just reassuring me, is all.”

Steve felt guilty suddenly. He’d worried his poor mother sick with how out of it he’s been. With her living in DC and him in Brooklyn, they hardly ever got to see each other anymore. Even less since he’d stopped facetiming her in recent months, not wanting her to see how red and swollen his face was from crying all the time, or how tired he always seemed to be. No wonder Natasha had felt it her duty to go behind his back, even going so far as to pay the fee for him. A fee that he assured her was just a loan, and as soon as he could get the money together, he would pay her back. He was just a little tight this month.

“God I’m sorry--I didn’t mean to worry you so much. I am doing a whole lot better though, I swear.” Almost not a lie. He no longer wanted to curl up into a ball and just lie there hurting at the thought of their future together remaining only a dream. Thinking of Peggy still brought on bouts of depression, but it truly wasn’t as bad as it had been. That must sound pathetic.

He felt pathetic.

He was definitely going to have to do something about his feelings for Peggy.

“Don’t you apologize,” his ma reprimanded him sternly. “You have nothing to apologize for. Getting over losing someone takes time. Now, you know I adored Peggy, but if she could leave you like that then she was obviously not the right person for you. You’ll find someone--it just takes time. And if you don’t, then you have your friends with you. They care for you just as much as any partner could.”

Steve let a small smile take hold of his face at that. His mother, a devout Catholic, was always reminding him that she didn’t mind who he chose to spend his life with, and that he didn’t have to find romantic love to have a fulfilling life. After his father had died when he was an infant, she’d decided she didn’t need a man to be happy and had put all of her energy towards caring for Steve, advancing her nursing career (she’s the head nurse now), and spending time with her friends. 

For as long as Steve had known her she had never once let on that she was unhappy or even unfulfilled. Sometimes he worried that she was just putting on a show, but then he remembered that if she really wanted something more she would go out and get it. She was no longer living paycheck to paycheck, worrying about paying for his hospital bills and whether or not the insurance would cover everything. She was the strongest woman Steve knew besides Peggy and Natasha.

“Thanks for that.” His peaceful moment suddenly shattered as a notification on his tablet reminded him of a deadline in two days for a piece he still only had the lineart down for. “Hey, I’ll talk to you later okay? I just remembered I gotta finish this book cover due later this week.”

“Alright, I love you.”

“Love ya too, and ma?”

“Yes, honey?”

Steve held his breath for a moment. “It was good talking to you. You make everything seem so simple.”

His ma chuckled on the line. “It was my pleasure. You’re as stubborn as a mule and you overcomplicate things way too much sometimes. If you ever need some perspective, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Alright, thanks. Bye, Ma.”

“Goodbye, Steven.”

Setting down the phone, he felt a bit better about things. Until he remembered about the shirtless picture from four months ago that he’d clicked like on. Of all the artsy and beautiful photos of trapeze artists swinging across tents and the beautiful costumes of his coworkers performing, he had to go and single out that one.


	2. Lets play a game of is this real or Steve's imagination?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky officially meet and maybe, possibly go on a date? Steve still thinks he's imagining that part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm debating on whether or not to post chapter three tonight or post it with chapter four tomorrow. I really do hope you guys enjoy this. Comment and let me know what you think. Even just an 'I like this' or a 'kudos' in the comment is fine if you've already done so. Omg, I sound so desperate, I promise I'm not lol.

Steve was nervous going to class that Thursday. He was pretty sure Natasha had already noticed, but she wasn’t saying anything on that matter. It could be because she was too busy texting someone, though. Steve really hoped Bucky had just brushed off that Instagram notification as if it was nothing, because if he singled out Steve then he was going to die. Steve had no idea if this guy was straight, and even if he wasn’t there was no way he could be interested in Steve when he was blatantly liking scandalous photos. Especially when Steve was only a six and Bucky was clearly a ten. Not that he was assuming that Bucky was that vain, it’s just that being attractive is half the battle with a stranger. Sure, if you know the person and they think you’re a decent human being then it’s easy, but when trying to ask someone out at a coffee shop or in a bar, you don’t have that advantage. It’s you, the booze (or, okay yeah, a coffee), and a quick prayer that they’re not a shallow jerk.

Steve dug his nails into the flesh of his palm and shook the thoughts away. He was making a mountain out of an ant hill--yes, he knows that’s not how the saying goes. Why would Bucky be concerned that one of his students liked some random photo of his? He probably sees countless numbers of faces every day with his schedule. Why would he remember Steve’s face in particular when they hadn’t even spoken face to face yet? Steve hadn’t needed his help and even if he had, Clint had been there because Natasha was there.

Speaking of which.  

Steve was nervous going to class that Thursday. He was pretty sure Natasha had already noticed but she wasn’t saying anything on that matter. It could be because she was too busy texting someone though. Steve really hoped Bucky had just brushed off the notification as if it was nothing because if he singled out Steve then he was going to die. He had no idea if this guy was straight and even if he wasn’t there was no way he could be interested in Steve when he was blatantly liking scandalous photos. Especially when Steve was only a six and Bucky was clearly a ten. Not that he was assuming that the guy was that vain, it’s just that being attractive is half the battle with a stranger. Sure, if you know the person and they think you’re a decent human being then it’s easy but when trying to ask someone out at a coffee shop or in a bar, you don’t have that advantage. It’s you, the booze (or, okay yeah, a coffee), and a quick prayer that they’re not a shallow jerk.

Steve dug his nails into the palm of his flesh and shook the thoughts away. He was making a mountain out of an ant hill--yes, he knows that’s not how the saying goes.

“Hey Nat, Steve. Glad to see ya didn’t quit.” Steve sent Clint a confused look but before he could ask why Clint thought he would quit, he continued. “It’s nothing personal, it’s just that some people underestimate the hard work involved in this class just because it’s stationary.”

“Yeah well, I never back down from a challenge.”

Clint grinned at him. “Well that’s great. Today’s going to be a little bit harder than before. We’re going to try and get the basic moves done and then put some of them together to music.”

“Nothing too exciting,” a warm lazy voice interrupted, and holy cow was Bucky hotter in person. Steve immediately hated how unfairly good his tousled fluffy hair looked and how inviting his voice sounded. He just wanted to simultaneously run his fingers through Bucky’s shortish hair and ask what brand of hair wax he used to keep it all in place. Last week, Steve had come out of the class looking like a bird had taken roost in his hair. “Just something simple so no one gets bored.”

Steve tried to force the self-conscious feeling out of his body. What should he say, ‘hi teach, I like the way you move up there?’ God, Steve felt like stabbing himself with a spoon just at the thought of it. Why couldn’t he be as socially competent as everyone else was?

Steve surreptitiously flattened his hair while giving a slight nod hello. He  immediately felt Natasha’s arched brow disturbing the force without even having to look at her. Steve was never shy or timid; awkward sure, but always outspoken.

Bucky shot him a crooked grin and Steve could swear he flexed when he stopped and put his hands on his hips. “Hey, I’m glad you’re back. You didn’t really look like you wanted to be here last time.”

“Yeah well,” Steve shrugged. So. Painfully. Awkwardly. “I don’t back down from a challenge.” Why was he saying that again?

“You must be real interested in trapeze though, right? Most people don’t even know that you can take a class like this unless you’re in the circus,” Bucky said. ”Which we were, but that’s besides the point.”

“Actually I was the one who dragged his sorry butt here,” Nat interrupted. “He wouldn’t stop complaining the entire time. He made it sound like he was going to die.”

“Oh, haha.” Steve crossed his arms petulantly. He didn’t need Natasha bad-mouthing him in front of Bucky--he could trash his own image, thank you very much.

Bucky lifted a brow in amusement. “Oh really? I must have gotten the wrong impression then.”

Wrong impression? Steve felt like he was simultaneously blanching and flushing. It made him feel dizzy. Steve raised his chin up and tried to push his shoulders back in an attempt to appear unruffled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Bucky winked, chuckling at him. “Relax, you just seemed like the type is all.”

Steve seemed like the type his great aunt’s ass. This jerk was teasing him for the Instagram thing, he knew it in his bones.

Clint raised an eyebrow at him, skeptical. “No offense, but he looks like the type to get blown away with a stiff breeze.”

“Hey!” Steve said indignantly.

Natasha scoffed. “Looks can be deceiving. Steve’s got his roots dug so far in, not even a hurricane could move him if he really had his mind made up.”

“Oh really?” Bucky gave him the once over, prompting Clint and Natasha to share a secretive look.

“What is this, pick on Steve day? Don’t the two of you have a class to run or something?” He grumbled.

Clint shrugged and tossed a look at the clock on the wall behind him. “Eh, we still got another five minutes. Besides, it’s not like anyone will mind if we start a minute or two late. Gives the stragglers a chance to decide if they want to come in or not.”

“You and Steve get along pretty well.” Natasha said suggestively, giving a closed lipped smile that reminded Steve of a cat toying with it’s prey.

“Natasha,” Steve started warily. He wasn’t sure he liked where this was going.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I’m just having a little bit of fun, is all. It’s not everyday I get someone so cute as my student.”

Did Steve hear right, or were his ears hallucinating?

Maybe he should let Natasha do her thing more often.

“Me?” He squeaked out, unable to believe the turn the conversation had taken. Steve had to be dreaming. That was the only way this ridiculous conversation could have happened.

“Yeah you, Rogers.”

“You guys are making a mountain out of an ant hill.” Steve shuffled, blatantly ignoring Bucky’s confession.

Clint scrunched his face up at the phrase, but Bucky waved his hand and responded. “It’s not a big deal. I think he’s attractive and I’d like to get to know him, simple as that. ”

Steve… honestly didn’t know what to say to that. Flushing, Steve floundered for a moment. Natasha rolled her eyes, but a small, amused smile played on her lips. She was placated for now but he knew this wasn’t the end of it. Steve was impressed at how Bucky had headed off Natasha’s curiosity when she’d barely voiced it. Steve always somehow always played right into her hands, all the while somehow managing to drag it all out.

Clint grinned. “Aw, look, he’s speechless.”

Bucky swatted him in the gut before turning back to Steve. “It’s no big deal, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”

Steve nodded.

“C’mon Clint, let’s give these two a moment.” Natasha grabbed Clint by the arm and dragged him away, ignoring his protests.

Steve heaved a huge breath and gave a weak chuckle. “I’m flattered; I…” Steve felt a lump in his throat and he couldn’t believe he was about to say this out loud, but fuck it. “I think you’re cute too.”

Bucky snorted and Steve snickered. “Oh is that so? I’ll have you know I’m _much_ more than just _cute_.”

“Hmm, I think all that swinging around you do may have rattled something in there.” Steve tapped his temple, grinning.

Bucky returned his grin and Steve noted how his eyes crinkled in a way that made his insides jump. “Oh, you’re a punk. We’re going to get along beautifully.” Bucky paused briefly, as if mulling something over. “I don’t have my cell phone on me, but can I give you my number? I’d love to talk some more with you, if you’re okay with that?”

And there it was again, that feeling like the world wasn’t real and Steve was going to be permanently red in the face from delight and surprise. “Sure, okay. I, well, Tasha has my cell in her purse, but that’d be great.” He clamped his jaw shut with an audible click. If he said another variant of how good it was, Steve was going to hurl himself out a window. Didn’t matter that they were on the ground floor and these windows probably didn’t open. He’d still do it.

Way to seem overeager, _Steve_.

“Great.” Bucky rattled off his number and Steve thanked his not-quite-eidetic memory for allowing him to remember it. The two stared at each other for a moment before Bucky ducked his head almost bashfully and took a step back. “Well, I better get class started.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed.

He looked like he wanted to say something else but instead nodded before turning away and walking away from him.

When Steve made his way over to Natasha, she gave him an appraising look. God, dating Peggy had never been as complicated as this was. Nor as infuriating. Steve was going to have to move to New Jersey by the time this was all over, what with how hard his nerves were being tap danced on.

Class started and they did their stretches, Steve one of the few struggling on getting all the way down on his splits.

“Hey, you need any help?” Bucky made his way over as Steve struggled to get his leg into the right position.

“I’ve almost got it,” he huffed. It’s not like he didn’t want to accept Bucky’s help, it was just that it was a really simple move so he should be able to do it no problem. Too bad he wasn’t very flexible.

Bucky grinned and moved his hands to hover over Steve’s thighs where they were struggling. “S’okay. Here instead of trying to lift your leg like that, use your hands to pull your weight up on the rope and _then_ lift your leg. That way you’ve got more room to maneuver.

Realizing that he’d been staring for too long, Steve jerked his gaze away from Bucky’s blue, blue eyes and muttered curtly. “Thanks.”

Bucky’s warm hands left him and he threw him a cheeky smile. “No problem. You need any more help, just holler.”

A small part of Steve thought there might be a lot of things he’d like Bucky to help him with, but then he felt guilty. What about Peggy? Could he really just move on so easily from someone who’d consumed so much of his heart?

Steve grumbled under his breath and returned to his starting position to try again, this time without help.

Now, Steve wasn’t generally an insecure person, but when Bucky came around a few more times after that and helped Steve adjust his grip a couple of times or to just see how he was doing, he’d begun to feel self-conscious.  By the time class ended, Steve was feeling a burn in his arms and was flushed from exertion.

“Alright everyone, that’s about it for today. Don’t forget to stay hydrated and grab something to eat if you need to. We’ll see you next time.” Bucky looked over to Steve and winked.

****

“So now that I’m back,” Sam started as he flicked a bite of a bagel into his mouth, two days into his return from his honeymoon. Steve was glad Sam was back, even if it did feel a little selfish. He finally had someone who wouldn’t kick his butt when he was being stubborn or resistant to _someone else’s_ ideas _._ “I’d like to know why Steve looks like he’s going to combust if he sets his phone down for even a second.”

Steve blushed furiously as he not-so-discreetly set down his phone in his lap. He was wrong. Sam was fraternising with the enemy and would be treated with prejudice. “I do not! I’m just… waiting for an important text. From a client.”

Sam looked unimpressed while Natasha rolled her eyes. “You wanna try that again? Maybe this time a little more convincing?” Sam said dryly.

“Steve’s waiting for a text from the hot instructor.” Natasha took a sip of her orange juice and Steve wrinkled his nose. He really didn’t like orange juice.

“You mean Clint?” He said, just to be difficult.

She paused in setting the cup down and just _looked_ at Steve, and honestly? It was kinda scary. Steve chuckled a bit just as his phone dinged. He couldn’t hide how he’d already grabbed his phone and looked at the sender.

“Judging by how you look like you just swallowed a candle, I’m guessing that’s the guy. What’s his name?” Sam asked.

“Bucky,” Natasha interrupted before Steve could say anything. He shot her a look, but she retaliated by snatching his phone from him. “Be nice to me, I have your phone right now. Oh, look--he wants to know what kind of art you do. What should I tell him?”

“Give it back, Tasha.” Steve glowered. Who knows what she would tell him? God, it’d probably be something wildly inappropriate and Bucky would stop talking to him because it would make things uncomfortable. Even if Steve explained that it was Natasha who had done it, Bucky probably wouldn’t believe it.

“What do you say?”

“I say y'all two are children,” Sam grinned, taking another bite of his brunch.

“I’m sorry.” Steve held out his hand.

“Oops, it’s already sent.” She tapped out something quickly on his phone before dropping it into his hands.

“Tasha!” Steve fumbled with the device. “Why are you--oh.”

_Natasha says hi..._

“You see? I could have sent so many different incriminating things. Do you wanna tell us why you’re so snappish today?”

Steve grumbled. Okay, so maybe he was being snappish. Today was just one of those days where everything felt awkward, even though he was with his friends. And alright, maybe he was wondering what Bucky could possibly see in him when Steve didn’t see anything particularly noteworthy. He felt average.

“You know, you don’t have to tell us.” Sam leaned back against his chair.

Steve sighed. “No, Nat’s right, I’m sorry. Today’s just one of those days. I'll be fine, I just need to get out of my head."

"Well since we're celebrating my return anyway, how about we do a movie marathon back at my place, since I'm the only one with who doesn't live in a tiny little apartment?"

"You knocking my tiny little apartment, Wilson?" Natasha play-threatened, leaning her elbows on the table--bad etiquette, if you asked Steve's ma.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Actually, I was insulting Steve's."

"Hey!"

"You two still haven't seen that spy movie from last summer yet, have you? Cause I have the digital copy back at my place."

"Yeah, that sounds good. I keep forgetting to watch it." Steve peeked down at his phone to type out a reply.

_Mostly oil painting but some digital art. I don't do much classical stuff--mostly storytelling pieces._

"Let's do a bad spy movie marathon, if we’re going to watch that." Natasha **said**.

Sam pointed a stern finger at her and Steve snorted. He knew where this was going. "James Bond movies are not bad, they are classics."

Natasha just shrugged and gave him a flat look. This was an ongoing fight between the two of them. Natasha thinks spy movies are cheesy, unrealistic, and overdramatic, meanwhile Sam loves them. “I’m pretty sure we’ve seen all of them and I still don’t think they’re any good.”

“No we haven’t, and even if we have we’re going to watch them again, so this time you can actually appreciate what’s going on.”

“Speaking of appreciate,” Steve piped up, “has Tony heard about your _heroic_ deeds on Friday?” Natasha worked security at Stark Industries, where Howard Stark was ‘grooming’ Tony to take over the company. Tony had issues with his father, so up until this past year when he and Pepper had gotten seriously involved, he hadn’t taken much interest in the company. Well, no that wasn’t exactly true, actually. Tony had taken an interest, it’d just been in the labs, building things and poking in on Natasha.

Anyway, on Friday, the head of security had called in sick, and Natasha as second-in-command had been in charge. Turned out that a couple of interns had accidentally locked themselves in one of the higher security locations when they were attempting to steal some pretty valuable blueprints and other stuff. Steve didn’t quite understand what the blueprints were of and Natasha hadn’t bothered going too far into detail.

Steve had actually met Tony through Natasha a few years ago. Tony was a pretty lonely guy who didn’t like to admit it. He and Steve hadn’t exactly gotten along like two peas in a pod. Steve hadn’t liked the thought of Tony slumming it with the non-rich people. It’d taken a few times hanging out to learn that wasn’t the case, and despite their bickering, it wasn’t an unenjoyable time. The two had become decent friends; even if they didn’t see each other all that often.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him. “No, and I want to keep it that way. I heard he and Pepper are fighting, and you know how he gets.”

Sam snorted and shook his head. “If he heard about that, he’d probably insist on revamping the security with something overly excessive.”

“Or maybe offer you a vacation.” Steve grinned as his phone pinged twice.

Sam rolled his eyes and Natasha just leaned forward and said, “If you’re going to be on your phone then you can at least tell us what he’s saying.”

“Sorry,” Steve said sheepishly. “He just said that it sounds cool and he’d like to see some of my work one day.”

“Send him a photo of that one you did of that lady’s parrot. I like that one.” Nat took a sip from her ceramic cup.

Natasha had liked that one so much that she’d made Steve photocopy the oil painting the eccentric woman had commissioned from him. Needless to say, it had been difficult and he’d charged her for it. That piece had also been a very fulfilling one, and he was still proud of it. If Steve hadn’t had to give it to the client, he would have hung it up on his wall. Any of his attempts to recreate it had just gone terribly wrong, so he hadn’t _actually_ been too bothered by making a photocopy for Natasha.

“Yeah, okay.” Steve sent the photo and then eagerly awaited the response. Bucky replied almost immediately with shocked emojis and praise.

_Wow, that’s unreal. Ur so talented!!_

_Ur way better than Van Gogh._

And that made Steve’s heart sing more than anything else had in a long time.

****

_B: Hey, uh…_

_You wanna go get a coffee or something after class tomorrow?_

Steve’s heart jumped up to his throat and he nearly threw the phone in giddy excitement.

_S’okay if you don’t wanna but…_

_S: Yes, that’d be great!_

Steve interrupted before Bucky could send anything else. He hoped he didn’t come off as desperate--he’d really like for this to work out. Wait, was this a date or just hanging out? Could he even ask that? Would it be too awkward or obvious? Steve pressed the phone to his chin and curled forward over his knees in anticipation. He’d wait to see what the atmosphere was like and then act accordingly, simple as that. His phone chimed and he pulled his it out in front of him so fast, he almost gave himself whiplash.

B: :)

_Cool._

_Talk to ya tomorrow then?_

_S: Sure._

Steve felt himself deflate a little bit at the end of the conversation. That was it? They weren’t going to talk some more? He sighed. Maybe Bucky was busy… or maybe this really was just hanging out with a friend.

Ugh, this was getting him nowhere, and he _was not_ going to work himself up into a fit when he was just being paranoid. Using his relationship with Peggy as a basis for what to expect wasn’t going to work this time around. He had to start fresh and throw out the book. If things worked out, he didn’t want to be constantly comparing things to how he’d done them before. Besides, what more was there to really say? They’d been talking for the last few days about the most random things, and they really didn’t know each other well enough yet to veer off into more personal topics.

So there, Steve told the anxious little monster chewing on his nerves, only to have something else lobbed back at him.

What was he going to wear after class?

He was going to be super sweaty and gross, Steve didn’t just want to go in his sweaty yoga shorts and T-shirt. Bucky was surely going to get changed before they left and then he’d seem like he didn’t care at all. It may just be a coffee date, sure, but he had to be presentable.

Oh _God_!

Steve threw himself back onto his bed and contemplated calling Natasha. She’d know what to do.

****

Steve pulled on the baby blue T-shirt and turned around to see himself in one of the mirrors in the small bathroom. Besides the red flush to his face, mostly from the class ending but okay, at least in part from all the stolen flirtatious looks Bucky had been throwing him the whole time, he would say he looked pretty okay. He was able to wipe off most of the sweat with the moist towelettes he’s brought with him in the same bag he’d brought his spare change of clothes in. His hair wasn’t in too much of a state of disarray--just tousled enough to look sexy if he were taller and was 50 lbs heavier (preferably muscle). He’d kept the same tennis shoes but Natasha had helped him pick out a pair of grey jeans that hugged his narrow hips and gave him the illusion of actually having a butt.

He felt like he looked good.

Steve took in a deep breath and heaved it out before picking up his messenger bag and heading out to where Natasha and Bucky were waiting for him. Steve nearly blanched. Oh God, he hoped Natasha wasn’t giving Bucky the shovel talk. Coming from her, that could very well scare Bucky off for good, and Steve really didn’t want that.

“Wow, that was fast.” Steve forced an awkward chuckle out as he took in Bucky’s olive henley and rather tight dark wash jeans. He resisted the urge to bite his lip at how handsome Bucky looked. God, Steve felt what little confidence he had slip away as that little monster started picking on him again. Maybe his hair looked too messy, or the clothes washed him out instead of highlighting his blue eyes and his sunny hair.

Bucky grinned as he turned to face him, giving him an appraising look of his own before swinging his knapsack over his shoulders. “I’ve had practice. You look good.”

“You, uh, you too.” Steve said shyly.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Well it looks like that was my cue to skedaddle. Gimme your bag, Steve, I’ll drop it off at your place later.” Steve met her half way, feeling awkward the whole time as she snatched his bag and winked at him. “Have fun, boys.”

Bucky gave an eye roll of his own. “Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.” She just waved her middle finger at him as she left.

“Do you two know each other well?” Steve shuffled.

“Nah,” Bucky shook his head. “Clint hangs brings her around sometimes when we go for drinks. Are you okay with Starbucks? Or do you have someplace else in mind?”

Steve couldn’t contain the minor look of disgust that overtook his features. Bucky let out a startled laugh. “How about the Merriment?” Steve deadpanned.

“The place that looks like it belongs on Coney Island? Sure, I know of it; haven’t been inside yet though.”

The two began to make their way out of the building as they continued to converse. Steve hesitated to bring the conversation back around to Natasha, but he needed to know. “You two seemed familiar. Did she give you the shovel talk?”

“Nah, she’s just one of those people, ya know? Easy to talk to, not very easy to get to know. It’s why Clint is having so much trouble getting a date with her.”

Steve did know. About the easy to talk to thing, that is, not the date part.

Bucky jerked his thumb to the left, where a sleek black bike with a brown leather seat sat in the small lot to the left side of the building. “Do you wanna ride my bike or just walk?

_Bike?_ Steve mouthed.

Oh, it was official; he wanted Bucky. Plus he wasn’t going to give up a chance to get his arms wrapped around a stomach like that.

Giving an almost shy smile, he cleared his throat. “Sure. Never been on a bike before, though.”

Bucky smirked and Steve felt his heart thudding in his chest. “All you gotta do is hold onto me and lean when I lean. I brought an extra helmet for today.”

Steve followed Bucky’s lean, long stride, _oh-my-gosh those thighs_ , and hovered next to him as Bucky swung a leg over the seat. Bucky handed him a silvery helmet while slipping on a black one of his own. It hung a bit loose on Steve’s head but not by much. Bucky looked back at him expectantly and Steve gripped Bucky’s strong shoulders as he swung himself onto the bike, then adjusted his grip tighter.

“Hold on tight,” Bucky said as he cranked the key and revved the engine before pulling out. It was a short ride back in the opposite direction, the same direction where his apartment building was. Only a twenty minute walk away from Prospect Park. Steve barely had a chance to rest his forehead in between Bucky’s curved back before they were there already. The whole block was nice, the kind of artistic street you’d see on Pinterest. Bucky parked close to the crosswalk on the opposite side of the street before patting Steve’s hands, clutched into tiny fists in his shirt, signaling that it was okay to get off now.

Steve felt a little bit unsteady on his feet when he finally touched solid ground again, and he held out the helmet for Bucky to put up. A giddy laugh escaped him unbidden. “Wow, that was amazing! Is it always such a rush?”

Bucky chuckled, hopping off smoothly, as if his inner ear wasn’t swimming in circles. “Take it easy, Evel Knievel. Maybe some other time we can go for a ride.”

This time Steve nodded eagerly. Another chance to get that puppy between his legs again was a welcome thought. No, he is not going to feel embarrassed by the the thought of what else was between his legs, that was something he could obsess about some other time.

“You know, I always thought that motorcycles looked cool. When I was a kid, I asked my mom for one on my birthday. She laughed and then told me that I’d probably get blown away ‘cause of how small I was.” Steve said.

Bucky chuckled and led Steve across the crosswalk with a hand hovering near the small of his back. “I bet you would have too. Hey!” Steve elbowed him good naturedly. “I’m just telling it like it is.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Obviously you were the reason why I stayed grounded.”

“Now you’re getting it, Rogers. Gotta keep all that hot air from flying away somehow.” Steve couldn’t help but stare at the blatant mirth on Bucky’s face as he laughed.

“Must be a heck of a job.”

“Oof, you have no idea; night and day, long hours. But you wanna know a secret?” Bucky leaned closer. The scent of sweat and sharp clean deodorant filling Steve’s nose.

“What?” Steve breathed.

“I like it.” Bucky’s voice did that deep, lazy thing again and Steve’s face exploded with heat.

Turning his face away, Steve coughed in--embarrassment? Flattery? Either way, he couldn’t handle it. The only reason why he didn’t curl up into a ball right then and there was because Bucky had his eyes focused on the cheery ivory, peach, and sage green painted storefront of Merriment. If those winter blue eyes had been turned onto Steve, he wouldn’t be Steve anymore. He’d just be a big puddle of flustered goo.

God, what Steve wouldn’t give to have that voice whispering in his ear in a completely different setting. What Steve wouldn’t give to deserve it.

A feather light touch on the small of his back made him jump and Bucky grinned at him. “So, you know this place better than I do. What’s so good about it?”

Oh, sure, murder his poor nerves and set loose a colony of bats in his stomach, then change the subject.

Steve lengthened his stride and pulled the door open. He may have overreached because now the skin on the inside of his elbow stung. “Why don’t ya get in here and see for yourself, ya jerk.”

“Punk.” Bucky chirped cheerfully, floating past Steve as he held the door open like a gentleman.

Steve took a deep breath to center himself and followed him in after a beat. Their date had barely started and it already felt like the two were slotting into place. Like they’d already known each other for so long. It was a bit scary at how easily Steve was letting himself get sucked into what’s supposed to be a doomed first date. It felt… like he might actually have a chance with Bucky.

Steve didn’t know how to feel about that--but he knew that he had to be careful. He didn’t want a repeat of the heartache he’d been plagued with this past half a year.

Bucky paused a few feet in front of him to whistle. “This place looks like my sister, Maggie’s four year old was allowed to decorate.” That comment earned him a few disgruntled looks from some of the regulars.

“I like it.” Steve made to get in line behind a couple and their small child. “It’s not trying to be all hipster with brick walls and dark colors and rustic nonsense.”

And that was true. If someone was expecting something different from a cafe called the Merriment, then Steve didn’t know what to tell them other than maybe use some context clues next time. The same colors used outside were splashed on the ivory colored walls in varying sized dots. The tiles were checkered in white and pale blue, while the counter was done in a mosaic tiled motif with similar colors on the sides.

“I see what ya mean; especially here in Brooklyn, this place is a breath of fresh air. Uh, let’s see…” Bucky stopped beside him and rested his thumbs in the belt loops of his pants as he peered up at the menu board behind the counter. “Iced green tea and… a… the Monte Cristo sandwich sounds good. What do you usually order?”

“That depends.”

“On what?” Bucky shot him an amused look.

“On whether or not I want something sweet or savory.”

They fell into a comfortable silence for a moment while they waited for their turn to order. Steve wanted the new dark chocolate drink they’d been advertising and just grabbed two apple crumble muffins. “Ya know, you really should go for something a bit healthier after class.” Bucky had tutted. Steve just rolled his eyes and snarked back that he wasn’t the boss of him.

The fact that the cafe had a variety of pastries and lunch food alongside their various coffee drinks was what made the Merriment such a great place. It wasn’t just a coffee shop, nor was it a simple sandwich shop; instead it was a bustling combination of the two that had enamored it’s regulars and had been featured in quite a few blog posts about food establishments to watch out for. Had he mentioned that the coffee at this place was far superior to Starbucks yet? Because it was.

Steve already had his wallet out to pay for his own share before Bucky had even said anything. He didn’t know if Bucky had wanted to pay but Steve didn’t want to give him the chance. He liked paying for his own share on dates. All too often, people took the starving artist stereotype too literally and picked up his tab for him.

Once their order was up, they collected their food and picked out a small table near the window.

“So…” Bucky rested his arms on the table and hunched forward once he was done with his sandwich. Steve was still only a few bites into his first muffin.

“Wow, you sure inhaled that.” Steve snarked.

“Gotta keep up the energy somehow. Anyhow, like I was saying before you _interrupted_ me.” Steve grinned cheekily at Bucky as he chewed. “I have a very important question for you.”

“And that is?” Steve raised his eyebrows at his mock seriousness.

“Baseball or football?”

“Baseball, of course!” Steve scoffed. Don’t even get him started. He had so many feelings on baseball. “What kind of a question is that?”

“Had to make sure you were a man of taste. I would have accepted not being into sports as an answer, but if you’d have chosen football…” Bucky tsked, shaking his head.

Steve tilted his head, amused. “The real question is Yankees or Mets?”

“The Mets, what am I, an animal?”

“I don’t know what you like to do in your spare time. For all I know you very well could be.”

Bucky snorted before giving Steve an appraising look and then snarled. Steve nearly snorted his delicious drink right out of his nose with how much he laughed at that.

“Speaking of animals…”

“Oh no!” Steve groaned. “I knew you wouldn’t forget that.”

“So, in case you didn’t already know from my Instagram, her name is Dollface.”

“That was an accident.” Steve pointed his finger at Bucky, nearly shoving it too close to his face. “I was on the phone and got distracted.”

“So it was an accident.” Bucky played along. “And you don’t like the picture at all. Not one bit. Okay, I get it.”

“Well it’s not… that’s not what I’m… you’re a jerk and I refuse to answer that.” Steve huffed out. Even though he was feeling flustered, it wasn’t an entirely unpleasant feeling. He really liked how fun it was to be around him.

Bucky snickered, bringing his coffee up to take a drink. “You’re sending me mixed signals here.”

“And they’re going to stay mixed.” Steve huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. Bucky dropped his head and let it hang as he eyed him from the corner of his eyes. Steve’s stomach fluttered. He’d never quite had anyone look at him in the same way Bucky was doing so right now. “What?” Steve said uncertain.

“Nothing, it’s just…” Bucky lifted his head and sat back in his own seat, not once taking his eyes off of Steve. He ran a hand through his hair, though Steve was pretty sure it was less a come on move and more because of the sudden tension in the air. “You’re really easy to talk to; surprisingly so, actually. I mean, Clint and I, we get along and I’m a pretty easy going guy but with you…”

Steve sucked in a shaky breath. He knew exactly what Bucky meant. “Yeah, I… uh, know what you mean. Not that I’m an easy person to get along with-- my nana used to say that befriending me was like trying to touch a porcupine.” He laughed awkwardly.

Bucky frowned slightly, and for a moment Steve was worried he’d said something wrong. Did he somehow misinterpret what Bucky’d said? “Sure, you’re kinda prickly but you seem like a real genuine guy. I like that about you.”

“I uh…” Steve furrowed his brows, suddenly unsure. “I like you too, but I don’t really know if I’m in a place to be in a relationship with anyone. It wouldn’t be fair.” He waited for Bucky to say something, to get up and leave because Steve had wasted his time, but he didn’t. He just sat there and let Steve go on when he was ready. “My ex and I, well, we had a kinda complicated break up. It’s been a few months now and she’s sorted things out and moved on, but me…”

“Ah,” Bucky nodded. “You’re still hurting.”

“Yeah. So I’m sorry for wasting your time, I--”

“You didn’t waste my time,” Bucky said sternly, and Steve’s eyes shot back up to his. Bucky leaned forward and rested his left hand near Steve’s, not quite touching. Not quite sure if that was alright yet. “Look, I get messy break ups and I’m not going to try and guilt you into anything you’re not ready for. I said I like you, and that hasn’t changed just because a relationship is off the table. I’d still like to hang out with you even if it’s just as friends; if you’re okay with that?”

And suddenly, after not thinking of Peggy for the entire date so far, Steve thought of a fight he’d had with Peggy, back when they were both still circling each other, shy and curious. Peggy had known what she’d wanted and had confessed that if Steve wasn’t going to do anything, then he had better let her know. She hadn’t wanted to waste any time on a relationship that wasn’t going to go anywhere. Steve supposed it had been his fault. He’d been so painfully shy around her that even when she had flirted, he hadn’t known how to react. Even months into their entanglement, he’d still been trying to convince himself that there was no way she could be interested in him--that it was wishful thinking or that he was imagining subtext where there was none.

It was the complete opposite of what Bucky had just offered up. Though Steve supposed he and Peggy still would have been friends after--she wasn’t ruthless like that, afterall. She just knew what she wanted--well, that is, until she didn’t.

Steve supposed that putting her up on a pedestal like he’d done had been a mistake. After all, she was only human, no matter how much he had thought of her as something other; an angel, or a goddess, or something else equally as sappy. His ma always did say it was bad to idolize others--people make mistakes and pretending they were otherwise denied that.

“I’m good with that.” Steve whispered.

“Then we don’t have to worry about anything other than just enjoying each others company.” Bucky smiled softly and tapping the table once with his hand as if to say that was final. “So, what do you do for a living?”

“Well, you already know about my art but there’s also my job as an editor at a publishing company.” Steve began.

****

Needless to say, the rest of the date went very well.


	3. A blast from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve runs into someone from the past and meets Dollface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this and if you don't mind drop a comment down below to let me know what you thought. The next chapter will be up in a few hours.

The next two weeks came and fairly quickly. Steve continued to work on his art and edit books for his publisher--not what he’d like to be doing full time, but until he could get enough recognition with his art through the online community and through word-of-mouth, he was stuck with his day job. 

He’d learned to deal with the painful bruises in awkward places, as he also continued going to his classes with Natasha and texting Bucky.  He didn’t get to know Clint a whole lot, but they weren’t quite strangers like they’d been before. A couple of times Steve caught Natasha and Clint whispering and glancing in his and Bucky’s direction like school girls, but when he’d ask what they were gossiping about, they’d clam up and change the subject like pros. 

Whatever was keeping them entertained, Steve didn’t mind. His friendship with Bucky was growing, and his arms no longer felt like they were going to fall off when he pulled himself up onto the trapeze bar. Speaking of trapeze, Steve could officially say that he was starting to get the hang of it. Clint had stopped fiddling with the music and he and Bucky were working on creating a sequence for the class. The sequence was in sync rather than individualized so there was less pressure for them to create a unique sequence while they were still getting the hang of things. It sounded smart to Steve, but he still had his doubts. Especially since the end goal was to have a little performance for their friends and family a few months from now, before moving on to the second half of the class.

Steve had been doing some pilates at home to help strengthen his core for the class. Well, actually, he’d been doing it off and on for a few years now since his back wasn’t the greatest, but it helped nonetheless. Despite that, he was still having trouble being all bendy like Tasha and one of the other girls in class who had white hair. He’d also learned that while there were a few others like him in class who were complete beginners, the rest of the class had some sort of training in dance or acrobatics, so it wasn’t quite as difficult for them as Steve thought it should have been. Or maybe they’re at a level expected of a beginners class, and Steve is just disproportionately bad.

On another note, things with Bucky seemed to be going smoothly. They bantered and flirted comfortably and Steve still got flustered at times. The two hadn’t been able to go out on another date yet, but they’d been texting a lot and sometimes after class Steve would stay behind to talk. He still thought of Peggy from time to time, but not as often. He hadn’t even checked her social media in those entire two weeks.

And as tired as Sam was of Steve’s moaning and groaning on how much his thighs burned after class, he never told Steve to stop his endless listing on how trapeze class was going. Sam would never say it out loud, but he was probably relieved that Steve wasn’t moping around as much as he used to.

So, since things seemed to be going pretty well, Steve thought he’d try his luck and go visit his and Peggy’s favorite vintage diner. He hadn’t been back in a few months, and as a result had been neglecting some of their mutual friends who worked there, like Angie. He missed talking to Angie. In some weird way, she reminded him of Bucky, except way more theatrical and less of a flirt. Steve was sure the two would get along like two peas in a pod if they ever met.

Steve should have known better than to tempt fate--but he missed his friend.

Pushing open the doors to L&L’s Diner, he threw a cautious glance around to see if anyone he’d rather avoid was around.

“Stevie!” A cheerful and heavily Brooklyn accent voice called out. “I was beginning to believe you were never gonna show your mug around these parts again!”

Steve grinned sheepishly as he entered the diner, heading over to meet Angie at the counter where she seemed to be refilling someone’s cup of coffee. “Sorry about that, Ang. I didn’t mean to ignore ya. I did text.”

“Oh wow, a few piddly little texts before dropping off the face of the earth.” She grinned, turning to face him. “I’m just kidding, I woulda done the same in your shoes. Who wants to stick around a joint where their ex’s at all the time? Yeesh, talk about awkward.”

Steve let her pull him into a hug before she herded him to one of the tables in the middle. “I’m real sorry about that. I promise I’ll try not to do that again. It was a real jerk move.”

“It’s no big deal. What do ya want to drink?” Angie handed him the menu with her free hand.

“I’d really love a milkshake, but I can’t right now. Maybe just some lemonade and a grilled chicken burger with fries to go?” Steve really wanted to discard everyone’s advice, but it probably wasn’t the best to get hopped up on sugar right before he was going to go do strenuous activities. Even if he did anyway, he didn’t have time for it. He didn’t even have time to really eat anything here, but he’d decided to finally suck it up and be an adult about things. He’d just eat it after class.

“You ain’t on one of those fancy diet’s now, are ya?” Angie eyed him suspiciously.

Steve rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what she was implying. Being ninety-five pounds and going on a diet wasn’t exactly a smart idea. He was lucky he didn’t blow away in a strong breeze--that’s actually a sore spot, because a strong wind actually does push him around a tiny bit. “As if. I just got something I gotta do right after this so I can’t be running on a sugar high.”

“If you say so, but I’m gonna make sure you get a double--”

“Angie, you’re on the clock! Quit yakking and get back to work!” A hard voice from the kitchen called out.

Angie rolled her eyes. “Geez, he’s worse than my cousin Ralphie. Ya get hit by one bus and suddenly you think everyone’s your personal servant.”

Steve’s eyebrows rose. He hadn’t heard about that. “Ralphie got--”

“Angie!”

“Gotta go the slave driver’s gettin’ antsy. I’ll go get you that lemonade.” She makes a face

Alright,” Steve grinned.

The click clack of heels behind him and the familiar waft of a sharp yet floral perfume floated into his nose, breaking the amicable atmosphere. He’d recognize that scent anywhere. A throat cleared behind him and Steve’s head jerked back to look at her.

“Hello, Steve.” Peggy said tentatively as she stepped closer. “It’s been quite a while since we last saw each other.”

“Oh look at that, a customer who needs me. Holler if you need something.” Angie muttered and darted away with her coffee pot.

“Hi, Peg.” Steve said past the lump in his throat. He’d done a pretty good job of avoiding her these past few months at this establishment, only going when he knew she was busy at work. Unfortunately that meant going when Angie was busy with her theater rehearsals.

"Haven't seen you in a while." He shifted in his seat. Honestly, he just wanted to bolt, but there was no logical reason for that. Not unless aliens suddenly invaded and the sky started falling right outside.

"Can I sit here?" She asked bluntly, taking no prisoners.

Steve shrugged and eyed the Formica table as he scratched his nails against the no doubt germy table top. He was trying not to look directly at her. She looked just as beautiful as he'd remembered; the photos online hadn't done her justice. From what he could tell, her hair looked a bit longer, but still partially pulled back in a hair clip. Not much else was visibly different besides the mini trench coat he didn't recognize.

"I'd like to talk if that's alright?" She said softly as she took a seat in front of him.

Steve took a deep breath. He was afraid all of the old feelings and hurt would come rushing back if he sat here any longer. He was just starting to get to a place where he could be okay, he didn't want to backtrack.

He didn't want to sit here and talk to Peggy when that ship had long since sailed. Steve knew he was being ridiculous, that some exes were great friends but... well, he didn't know if he could do it. If it would be best for him. He'd never asked Sam or Tasha about how he would react if the two ever met again--they ran in pretty different social circles with only a few people connecting them.

"Please?" Peggy pleaded when he said nothing.

Steve bit the inside of his cheek before raising his eyes to meet hers. There would be no avoiding her. Whatever it was that she wanted to talk about, he would have to face it head on or else run out of here like a coward. That wasn't an option, and not just because he had yet to pay for his food.

"Alright. What is it?" Steve cringed internally. He didn't mean to sound so short with her.

She pursed her lips and rested her manicured nails on the tabletop, careful to keep them away from his hands so they wouldn't touch. "It's been six months. I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but I didn't want you out of my life completely. I want to know how you've been."

Steve resisted the irrational anger that surged inside of him at that. How else was he supposed to deal with her being in love with another man? By playing the good ol' pal who'd stick by through thick and thin? He needed that space--didn't think he would be in a good place if he hadn't taken a step back or two.

"I've been just fine." He said instead. There was no reason for him to pick a fight with her.

"Steven," she sighed. "Don't shut me out. I thought we could be friends. Is this what you truly want? To never acknowledge each other? If I remember correctly, you also had a hand in ending this relationship."

"What else was I supposed to do, Peggy?" He snapped. "You were in love with another guy. I wasn't just going to sit back and enjoy the show."

"I was in love with you, too!" She snapped back, narrowing her eyes at him. "I am sorry for my part in all of this, and for hurting you, but I will not be blamed for everything."

"Me, what did I do?"

"You claimed to love me so dearly and yet when push came to shove, you didn't fight for me."

_ He _ didn’t fight for  _ her _ ?

Steve had never stood a chance, how could he have?

Steve clenched his jaw and moved his hands to dig into his thighs, willing himself to calm down. "What was the point in fighting for you when you had already started moving on? I wasn't going to be  _ that  _ guy and stand in the way of something you wanted and I also wasn't going to stick around pining for a girl who was in love with someone else."

"I wasn't with him, not for months." Steve could see Peggy's temper flaring. He knew she hated others presuming to know her feelings, but he couldn't resist pressing her buttons. "And for your information, as much as you don't want to believe me, I didn't know what I wanted. Not really. So I would appreciate it if you would stop acting like Thompson."

Steve reared back at that. He'd only met Thompson, one of her coworkers, a few times but they had clashed so hard that Steve had nearly punched him at one of her work functions.

Steve didn't really know what to say to that, but it turns out he didn't have to, Peggy was plowing straight on. "Yes, I'm with Daniel now and yes, I've taken some time to work on myself and reevaluate what I want out of life. I was presumptuous in behaving as if I knew myself to a fault and I'm not ashamed to admit that… but I'm not the same person I was six months ago."

"Uh, sorry to interrupt but here's your order Stevie. If I don't see ya on your way out then take care." Angie parted the brief, tense silence with a knife--or more accurately with a takeout baggie and a frosted clear cup of lemonade. "Don't forget to recycle that."

Peggy cleared her throat. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you resent me for everything that happened. If you don't want to see me again, then I won't bother you but if we can... I'd like to still be friends."

Steve chewed on the corners of his mouth. What was he supposed to do with that? He really didn't know how to respond to that. The petty child in him wanted to scream and shout that of course he didn't want to see her in his sandbox ever again but the rational, adult part of him told him he'd regret it if he ended things like this. And after all, if things had never happened the way they did, he probably wouldn't have met Bucky.

He needed to think things over. As it was now, he was being a jerk.

Steve sighed and grabbed his things. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk. I honestly don't know if we can ever be friends, but I'd like the chance to think on that."

Peggy sat back in her seat, mollified. She seemed to puzzle over something for a minute before nodding. "Alright. I suppose that's as much as I could hope for... but Steve?"

"Yeah?" He hesitated.

"I really am glad to see you--even if you were behaving like a child.”

"Yeah, I guess I deserve that." Steve ducked his head. He hesitated for a moment. "Bye Peg, see ya around."

"Goodbye, Steve." She whispered softly.

Steve didn't stick around after that. He paid Angie for the meal and then headed out. He would have to take the food with him to the studio, but he'd leave it at the front desk with Darcy. The subway ride seemed longer than ever to him. He really wasn't looking forward to going to class today. He just wanted to sit at home and listen to one of his favorite podcasts. Steve rubbed at one of the many bruises on his leg and tried not to think about what Peggy had said.

Steve knew it was as plain as day on his face that he was upset, and he used the time on the subway to try and compose himself. He didn't need Natasha--or worse, Bucky--picking up on his bad mood. He didn't want them to worry about him. Steve would be fine.

_ You didn't fight for me. _

Steve scrubbed at his hair and let the water droplets on the side of his cup soak into his yoga sweats. He hated to admit it, but he could see her point. It was true that he didn't fight for her, but what chance had he stood? Steve wasn't exactly the catch of the day. He was scrawny, short, ill-tempered, and only decent looking. Daniel was the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome with the added bonus of having that homey best friend vibe. He didn't argue just to argue, and Steve would bet that he didn't trip over himself trying to woo Peggy.

Steve took out the burger from the paper back and angrily took a bite.

But what did Steve really know? He didn't actually know how Daniel was--he'd only met the guy once. Wasn't Steve thinking just like all of those other jealous bros?

Daniel was probably a good guy, and Steve was being mean spirited.

After all, there had to have been a reason why Peggy had gone out with him in the first place, right? Peggy wouldn't have just played with his feelings and as bitter as Steve is, he's not stupid.

He doesn't want to disrespect her just because she was right.

Maybe if he really had fought for her, things would have been different.

Just maybe.

"Next stop, Bank Street, Brooklyn." The overhead voice announced as the subway train prepared to stop

Steve shoved the burger back into the paper bag, grabbed his stuff, and stood up.

He’d dwell more on the subject later. Right now, he had a trapeze class to get to and he didn't want to injure himself just because he wasn't paying attention.

 

Halfway through class and Steve could pretty much confirm that Natasha and Bucky had noticed something off about him. He was struggling more than usual and he was getting frustrated. It was when Bucky was spotting him as he hung upside down when Bucky broke from the professionalism he usually kept up in class.

"Are you alright?" Bucky said from behind him.

Steve rolled his eyes. Really? Now? "Yeah, I just... got a lot on my mind." He grunted before swinging himself upwards so he could grab the bar and change into a hanging position.

"Don't put your thumb like that, you're more likely to slip." Bucky grabbed his hand and adjusted his grip. "You wanna talk about it after class? I'm a good listener."

Steve chewed on his lip. Was it really wise to talk about Peggy to him? Steve wasn't sure but he always felt better after talking to Bucky so maybe just... just talk, about anything really, and maybe he wouldn't feel so gloomy anymore.

“I don’t know, I don’t think it would be entirely appropriate but maybe, maybe we can just talk for a moment?”

“Sure, yeah. Whatever you want.” Bucky pressed his hand against the side of Steve’s right calf, an empathetic smile on his face.

Natasha lifted a foot from where she sat on her trapeze and stretched over to lightly shove Steve once Bucky had moved on. “What’s all that about?”

Steve shrugged once he’d righted himself, using one of the moves they’d been taught in a not entirely smooth manner. “It’s nothing, I just saw Peggy today. She said some things that…” He shrugged again, not wanting to put it into words.

He was still feeling a bit raw, and he didn’t want to air out his dirty laundry in class where anyone could hear.

“Are you still in love with her?” Natasha asked bluntly, after a moment of silence.

Steve blinked, and for a moment he didn’t know how to quite answer. “No, I don’t think I am, but I…”

“Then you should really sort out why you’re still so upset. You two are done and Bucky likes you a lot. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Don’t brush this off, Steve. If you wait too long, it might be too late.”

Steve pursed his lips and shot her an annoyed look. Natasha just leveled him with a cool gaze as she moved her grip so she could stand on the bars. “Clint, I need a spotter.” And without even waiting, she hoisted herself up in the air using her hands and twisted into an upside down split.

Steve really hated how she could pull off such an advanced move with ease. He also hated how she had effectively just ended the conversation without any lip from him.

“Tasha, you’re supposed to wait!” Clint grunted, hurrying across the mats. “I don’t care how flexible you are, if you fall, you could hurt yourself.”

 

The next time they hung out over the next few weeks was when Bucky took Steve to the carousels in Prospect Park. Honestly, Steve had thought it childish at first and a bit embarrassing but Bucky had been in such a good mood, that his glee had been contagious. They sat next to each other on their ponies as they joked and took pictures. They’d gotten a few looks from the adults around them and Steve had even been tempted to throw a particularly rude woman the finger but then Bucky had distracted him with another one of his cheesy, awful puns and then he was laughing again.

After, they’d stopped to grab some lemonade and pretzels to munch on while they walked through the park. It was only when Bucky's phone dinged that the two stopped to sit down.

"Sorry, this is important," Bucky winced, pulling out his phone to check it while Steve continued sipping on the remaining half cup of smoothie.

Bucky let out a laugh and turned the screen so Steve could see it. "I think my roommate left the cabinet to the dog food open.” Steve chuckled at the photo of Bucky’s rather guilty looking dog, who was peeking around the corner of the kitchen island to look at a pile of dog food scattered all over the floor. Bucky’s gorgeous dog had a merle coat of mostly white with charcoal splotches and pale blue eyes. “Ugh, she’s such a glutton. The vet had me put her on a diet and everything cause she eats so much, and who can resist a face like that?”

“You know, I read an article about how homemade dog food can be healthier than most kibbles, though I guess that requires a lot of time and fridge space.” Steve mused.

He’d heard all too often on the news about dog food brands being recalled for various reasons, and it made his blood boil that anyone would cut corners on pet food simply because they thought they could save a little extra cash. Steve thought the pets they fed were smarter than a lot of ignorant people in the world. Like how the presidents of various nations at the moment couldn’t hold a candle to how smart Sam’s conure is. Or, apparently, Bucky’s dog.

“I have heard that, actually. If I wasn’t so busy all the time, I’d try it, but as it is, classes for the studio and performances for the company take up most of my free time.” Steve couldn’t help but feel guilty. Bucky was probably tired and wanted to lounge around the house on his days off,. not spend time with Steve. It must have shown on his face because Bucky looked apologetic. “Not that you’re taking up my free time or anything like that. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”

Steve blushed at Bucky’s flustered ramblings. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make ya--”

“Don’t apologize.” Buck said sternly, startling Steve slightly. “I worded that wrong and we’re all entitled to our own opinions. Just…” He hesitated, shifting so he could grasp Steve’s hand. “Just promise me that if you ever think something like that, you’ll tell me? I don’t want us to have any misunderstandings between us.”

Steve couldn’t help but blush. Everything about Bucky was just so… stupidly perfect. “Yeah, I… okay.”

“Good.” Bucky grinned and Steve swore it was like in a movie, where the world around the person blurred and focused in on Bucky’s blinding smile and his blue, blue eyes. When Steve blinked, it was gone.

It was probably lack of oxygen to the brain ‘cause of his asthma. Definitely not the warm and fuzzy feeling in his heart. Steve was  _ not _ getting attached. It’d only been a few weeks since they’d met.

He wasn’t falling in--in love.

Steve jerked his gaze away and pulled his hand out from under Bucky’s to scratch behind his ear. “So uh, what kind of dog is Dollface?”

He could practically hear the confusion coming off of Bucky in waves, but thankfully he said nothing. “Oh, she’s actually a mix. An Australian shepard and husky mix to be exact. The mother, the Australian Shepard, belongs to my mom. She was a actually a rescue dog from the streets so she hadn’t been spayed yet. Before we knew it, our neighbor, Baba’s dog had gotten her pregnant. Baba, wanted most of the dogs from that litter to be trained as guide dogs of some sort but Dollface is the rebel who wouldn’t take to the training. Naturally, I had to have her.”

“That’s cool, sounds like she gets into a lot of trouble, though.” Steve relaxed into the bench again and glanced back at Bucky.

“Oh she does, but I wouldn’t have her any other way.”

And somehow, Steve could relate. Or well, he could through osmosis. He’d been lot of trouble for his mom growing up with how often he’d get into fights with the school yard bullies. Once he’d asked her why she put up with him and she’d scolded him; made sure he understood that she loved him just the way he was. Steve had been a lot more considerate of her feelings after that.

They conversation lulled for a moment, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It felt natural. It wasn't until Bucky angled his body to face Steve's that either of them spoke.

“Hey, uh, I was thinking…” Bucky started, almost hesitant. “Would you like to come over to my place and meet her? I mean, only if you want to.”

Steve blinked. “Sure, but wouldn't your roommate mind?”

“Nah, he's pretty chill about things as long as I don't make too much of a racket.” Bucky grinned and Steve wanted to wrap himself up in how excited he seemed to get. “It's not too far from here, just south of the park actually. It’s a townhouse but it’s on a pretty affordable block, which is the only reason why two bachelors are able to afford the rent.” Bucky snorted. “Do you mind walking or should we take a cab?”

“Walking's fine. I could use the exercise anyway.” Bucky stood up and grabbed Steve’s hand to pull him up. Steve laughed at the excitement. He was going to get to see where Bucky lived; a place he'd only ever glimpsed in photos on his Instagram. “Lead the way.” Steve grinned.

The walk there was peaceful and honestly, a little longer than Steve had thought it would be. Bucky didn’t even seem winded, which just goes to show how out of shape Steve still is, even if he’s been in trapeze class for about a month now. The two of them talked about random things and at one point they had even argued about Star Wars--Steve liked the world but didn’t think the movies were particularly the greatest, while Bucky loved them. At least they were able to agreed on the fact that Harry Potter was overrated, and Lord of the Rings was better.

At one point when they were almost there, their hands brushed, and while Steve had gotten flustered Bucky had just waved him off and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

Bucky apparently lived in a townhouse with a small patch of grass behind it. It wasn't a large townhouse by any means, and it certainly looked unassuming with its beige brick walls. "This is it. When you get in, can you take off your shoes? I know it’s not too common for guests here, but Baba, the neighbor I mentioned earlier, she used to babysit us and man, if we didn’t take our shoes off at the door," Bucky whistled. “Anyway, the habit rubbed off.” Steve nodded in compliance, giggling at how nervous Bucky sounded.

Bucky unlocked the navy blue door before he walked up the short two steps to unlock the door and let them it. “Hey, Gabe, I’ve got a friend over!”

There was no answer but Bucky didn’t seem like he minded much.

“ I’m glad you invited me over.” Steve said, following Bucky’s lead in taking off his shoes at the door.

“Sorry I don’t have any sandals for you, but it’s just easier on cleaning the floors if the shoes stay by the door. Anyway, the first floor is just the living room, kitchen and dining room at the back and the laundry room. Trust me, it’s more cramped than it sounds.” Bucky chuckled. There was a scrabbling sound from upstairs and Bucky shot Steve an amused look. “Uh oh, you might wanna stand back a bit.”

“Huh?” But before he could say much more, there was a large, furry dog taking the stairs two at a time.

Dollface jumped up to put her paws on Bucky’s stomach, wagging her tail excitedly. Bucky laughed and scrunched his face up in a failed attempt at mock suspicion. “You were on the bed again, weren’t you, girl?” Dollface jumped down and did a guilty little circle before pointing her attention towards Steve.

“How’d you know?” He held out a hand for her to sniff.

“‘Cause shes not always so slick, and sometimes I catch her. I let her sleep with me as a puppy and now she thinks it’s hers.”

“Sounds like a losing battle.” Steve tentatively pet the dog. He’d never had a pet before and he didn’t want to make a bad impression on Dollface, especially with how close Bucky seemed to be with her, if his Instagram was anything to go by.

Bucky sighed dramatically. “It is. Dollface,” he clicked his tongue and said something sharply in what sounded like Russian. Dollface immediately stopped excitedly sniffing Steve and went to go sit in front of Bucky, alert. Satisfied that the dog was obeying, Bucky reached into the jar next to the TV and tossed her a small treat.

“Wow, she’s really well trained.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “She’s just behaving because you’re a guest and she’s a showoff. Trust me, if it were just the two of us, she’d be the one deciding if she wanted to play along or not.”

Steve chuckled. “Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of training her, then?”

“Well, when she’s got her collar on she knows that means business, but at home she’s the queen. Becca says I spoil her too much and that it’s gonna break her training, but we don't listen to her, do we girl?" Dollface barked and thumped her tail excitedly, but still didn't move. "C'mon, I'll get you something to drink. Do you want tea, lemonade, or water?"

"Lemonade's fine." Steve followed Bucky to the light bone-grey colored living room to the left of the hallway. The only splotch of colors were the Lord of the Rings pillows, a throw blanket and the olive green rug under the coffee table. There were a few knickknacks scattered around the room, but otherwise it was kind of barren. Steve guessed it made sense considering how some roommates could be touchy about the other's stuff.

"Nice place you got here." Steve sat down gingerly, adjusting his legs so Dollface could squeeze up between him and the coffee table. "Good girl." He murmured.

"Thanks.”

Steve couldn’t help but be nervous. The only time he’d ever been over to the apartment of someone he’d liked was with Peggy. It didn’t really matter that he was here though, did it? Bucky said he was just fine being friends, and so was Steve. There was no reason to make things awkward. “So where’s your roommate? I thought he was home?”

“Oh, he’s probably just got his headphones on upstairs.” Bucky sauntered back in and handed Steve the glass. “If Gabe comes down later I’ll introduce you, but you’ll probably meet sooner or later anyway.”

Steve nodded and took a sip. “Do you have Mario Party? Maybe we could play?”

Bucky grinned. “‘Do I have Mario Party’, he asks. You’re gonna regret asking to play with me. Becca--my younger sister, not the sister that’s getting married in a few months--says I’m way too competitive at it.”

“Funny, Nat says the same thing about me.”

“Alright, first one to lose buys the other one a drink of their choice at the Merriment.”

“There’s no way I’m buying your fru-fru cheat day drink. You’re on!” Steve grinned, not even noticing how he was leaning closer to Bucky. Dollface barked, eagerly wanting to be included in whatever fun was about to begin.


	4. Fights are never fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky comes over to Steve's place and things don't go to planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a cliffhanger this time. Enjoy!

Steve flicked the paintbrush again and stood back to examine the canvas. So far it seemed to be turning out pretty good. He still wasn’t quite happy with the way the harsh lighting faded out into the shadows. There was an almost muddy quality, and he’d had to patiently wait for the paint to dry before he could attempt another layer to cover it up. It looked better now, but he knew that if he overworked it too much, that it would just begin to devolve with no hope of salvation. The speckles of ivory paint would serve as little flashes of twinkling light.

He squinted at it, trying to determine how he was going to start adding the figures on top of the background when a knock pierced through the podcast he was listening to, startling a wheeze out of him. “Coming!” He shouted, reaching for his tablet to pause the podcast. Steve ran through a mental checklist of who it could possibly be that wasn’t at work or busy at the moment but couldn’t come up with anyone. He’d been painting for so long he hadn’t noticed the little hitch to his breathing from breathing in the paint fumes for so long with no ventilation. He’d need to open up the windows as soon as he got the door.

Steve set down the paint brush carefully and slipped his apron off before lobbing it into the little basket he kept in the front hallway for just that reason. Steve hoped he wasn’t too messy as he reached to open the door.

“Bucky,” he breathed, adjusting his glasses. “What are you doing here?”

Bucky grinned, holding up a box of baked goods before saying, “I wanted to see you. Figured I’d bring you some of those pastries I’ve been telling you about.”

Steve grinned, a warm giddiness blooming in his heart, and stepped aside. “Well, how can I say no to that?”

Bucky tentatively stepped inside. “Wow, your place looks nice. All put together and stuff.”

Steve scratched the back of his hair as he closed the door before making his way to the living room windows. “Yeah, a friend of mine helped me pick out the furniture when I moved in. Sit anywhere you like.”

“You painting with the windows closed?” He chuckled. “I thought that was like one of the big ‘do not do’ type things for artists.”

"It's not that big a deal." Steve rolled his eyes. "I just forgot to open the window, is all. It happens."

"Oh, it happens," Bucky snorted. "And it's gonna keep happening until you keel over one day from inhaling too much paint fumes. Then what's the world gonna do without little Stevie Rogers to inflict his own brand of--ow, hey!" He chuckled, rubbing at his side where Steve had just elbowed past him. "I've got food here."

"And you're at my place." Steve snarked back.

"I'll behave if you do, punk.”

Steve shot him a half amused, half challenging look over his shoulder as he made his way to the window. "That's a tall order. I don't think you can manage that."

"Oh really?" Bucky's eyebrows shot up. "Have you forgotten everything you've ever told me about your childhood? Cause I was an angel compared to you."

"Just hurry up and bring the donuts. I'm starvin' here."

Steve rubbed his hands together, giddy. He'd never had Bucky over. Sure, over the last few weeks, he'd been over to Bucky's place a couple times but that was different. Bucky had a roommate. Steve very obviously didn't, much to the ire of his mother. She didn't like him being alone in Brooklyn. When he'd first moved back after being away for most of his life, she'd been adamant about him finding a trustworthy friend to room with. Of course, that also clashed with the way she always said he couldn't just trust anyone and how he didn't need a partner if he didn't want one. It was just his mother's confusing way of showing she was worried and didn’t want him to isolate himself.

Bucky sauntered past him and paused at the painting. “Wow, I know I've said it before but you're really talented. Is that supposed to be the big top?”

Steve could feel the flush crawling down his neck. “It's not finished yet but yeah.”

Bucky looked back at him, his eyes twinkling. “Screw Van Gogh, this is a thousand times better. If my sister ever sets a wedding date, would you mind painting their portrait?”

“Oh, I…”

“Oh geez, I'm sorry. Don't mean to put you on the spot like that. Just forget about it. Here, try the one with the pink peppercorn sprinkled on it. Ana was inspired by a savory pastry from Panama I think? Actually half of these are inspired by some of the places she's been to. There's even one with curry in it.”

“What’s your favorite?” Steve hummed, as he took a bite.

“The eclairs with the key lime pastry cream. They’re actually one of the patisserie's bestsellers.”

“And let me guess, one of your go to cheat day foods?”

Bucky winked at him right as he reached into grab one for himself. “You know me so well.”

“C’mon, sit down. It’s my turn to grab you something to drink.” Steve pressed a hand onto Bucky’s bicep and pushed a bit.

“Juice would be great, though I suppose I should say water so I can at least try to avoid a sugar crash.” Bucky made his way to Steve’s bright blue couch and sat down the box of goodies but instead of sitting himself, he started hovering around Steve’s paintings hanging on the walls.

Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky being a busybody. “I’ll see what I have.”

“Have you ever showed off your paintings at an art gallery?” Bucky called out.

“Nah, too much of a hassle if you don’t know the right people. Plus, showing them off online gets more attention.”

Steve wandered into the small kitchen to the left of the foyer and opened up his fridge. He didn’t have much; to be honest, he’d been meaning to go to the grocery for a few days now since he was running low on the essentials. All that seemed to be left was a Gatorade Steve had been saving for the next day of trapeze class, and a pint and a half of vanilla flavored milk.

Steve didn't know how Bucky felt about flavored milk, so he just grabbed a glass of water from the Brita filter his mother had insisted he have. “Sorry, but water it is.”

“It’s fine.” Bucky turned away from the paintings and took the glass before sitting down. “I know I showed up unannounced, but--”

“It’s fine!” Steve blurted out. “I needed a break anyway. Do you maybe wanna watch something?” Steve couldn’t help but blush. He really didn’t want Bucky to leave now that he was here.

“Sure, is there anything in particular you’d like to watch?”

“I don’t know, maybe that one with the road trip and the evil ex? That one’s pretty funny and I heard Netflix has it now.”

“Oh yeah, and the best friend who’s always one step ahead of her? That sounds good.” Bucky said.

Steve grabbed the remote and set up the show while Bucky got comfortable. For a brief moment, he wanted to turn off the light but waved the thought away. It was silly and they weren’t in a relationship. Turning off the light would send the wrong message and would probably make things super awkward.

Steve leaned over and peeked into the box of food to see what else there was, and picked up another of the meat pastries alongside a couple of puff pastries with some sort of jam and pastry cream leaking out.

Popping one of the puff pastries into his mouth, Steve made a noise. “These are heaven. What type of filling is this?”

“Chew with your mouth closed!” Bucky laughed, giving him a little shove. “And it’s guava with regular pastry cream. I didn’t think you’d like it so much, I’ll have to remember.”

Steve didn’t know what exactly to say to that so he just nodded and turned his attention to the screen, ignoring the way Bucky had looked at him at that last line.

As the movie progressed to the half hour mark, the two got more comfortable. Bucky had rested his arm against the couch behind Steve’s head while Steve had leaned into him. They snarked back and forth to each other about the poor life decisions of the characters and laughed at the movie. It wasn’t until they had finished off the cheesy pastries that Steve took one of Bucky’s favorites.

“Oh God,” Bucky snickered, looking at him.

“What?”

“How did you get it on your collarbone? Here let me.” Steve blushed but before he could defend himself, Bucky had already reached over and wiped it off before sticking his finger in his mouth. Steve’s eyes focused in with laser accuracy on Bucky’s rosy lips.

“I-uh.” Steve’s mouth went dry and he could feel his whole upper body warm up significantly in one of his awful full body blushes.

Steve could see it in Bucky’s eyes when he realized what he’d done. Bucky blushed but didn’t try to say anything. Instead he just pulled his finger out of his mouth and stared at Steve. His adam’s apple bobbed and Steve unconsciously leaned closer.

Bucky put his hand on Steve’s cheek and murmured, “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

When Steve didn’t say anything, Bucky leaned forward and closed the distance between them. Steve couldn’t think of anything but the feeling of Bucky’s lips on his. It’d been so long since he’d kissed anyone, Steve didn’t know what to do. Kissing Bucky was so different from anyone he’d ever kissed before--it was like something clicked inside of him and all the emotions he’d been trying to supress filled his heart all at once.

“Mmh, Steve,” Bucky moaned slightly, opening his mouth ever so slightly to take Steve’s upper lip in between his own lips.

Steve clutched tight to Bucky as he struggled to catch his breath. This was the best thing since sliced bread, why hadn’t Steve let this happen before? Why had he been so insistent on holding onto Peggy when he had Bucky? Bucky who he loved dearly and never wanted to--

He loved Bucky.

And just like that, Steve’s heart froze and he remembered. He and Bucky were supposed to just be friends. Steve had tried so hard to make things work as  _ just _ friends, and now here they were kissing.

Steve made a distressed noise and used the hands clutching Bucky’s blue henley to shove him away. “Bucky, wait, stop!”

“Steve?” Bucky swallowed, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Steve said a little hysterically. “What’s wrong is we’re supposed to be friends. I’m not--I can’t--Peggy...”

Bucky’s face pinched in annoyance. “What’s Peggy got to do with any of this? Last you told me, pal, she moved on.”

“I know, but...” Steve made a miserably frustrated sound. He needed to calm down before he gave himself an asthma attack.

“I asked you,” Bucky started, almost a little heatedly as he pointed a finger at him. “I asked you to stop me if you didn’t want this and you didn’t. I see how you look at me, Steve, you want me too, I just don’t understand why you keep making these excuses. I’m trying to do the right thing here, but you gotta give me a clear sign!”

"God, I'm sorry okay? I'm an absolute mess!" Steve groaned. He could feel the tightness in his chest begin to form. "I don't mean to play games with you, I honestly like you."

Bucky sucked in a breath of air and held it for a minute, face pinched. "I get it okay, I get it. I just don't... know what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to push you into things you're not ready for, but I'd really like to know where we stand."

Steve clenched his jaw, unsure of what to say next. He wanted a relationship, he really did. Steve didn't want to dump all of his baggage onto Bucky...  but that's what he's been doing, though, hasn't he? To top it all off, Bucky didn't even have the added benefit of being his boyfriend.

Steve tried to force back the sting of tears in his eyes and said quietly, "I don't mean to. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say."

"I don't want to lose you as a friend." Bucky scrubbed at his hairline. It was silent for one agonizingly tense moment before he looked at Steve again. He couldn't meet Steve’s eyes. "I should probably go. Me sticking around here any longer isn't going to make things easier on you. You know how to reach me if you want to talk."

Steve felt as if his world was crashing down again. He couldn't do anything but nod when Bucky hesitated at the door. Steve just stood there, glaring at the ground with clenched fists. Bucky let out a noise of disappointment and let himself out of the apartment. When he was sure Bucky was in the elevator, Steve whirled around trying to find something acceptable to throw that he wouldn't miss. When he found nothing except for pillows, he muffled a scream into one of them instead.

Steve couldn’t stop the tears as they flooded his vision. He slid to the floor, clutching the couch pillow to his face as he tried to press himself against the couch.

It wasn’t fair.

Steve wanted Bucky so badly; he wanted to love him without fearing he’d get his heart broken again. He wanted to shout his love at the top of his lungs,  damnit !

The tightness in his chest increased and the wheezes in between the sobs turned into Steve gasping for breath. Steve swiped at his eyes and swung his head around, trying to see where his inhaler was. The panic mixed with the crying made it nearly impossible for him to catch his breath.

Steve pushed himself up and stumbled over to his the stool in front of his easel and snatched his inhaler, sending two puffs of medicated air into his lungs before trying his hardest to slow the crying. Asthma attacks were always scarier when Steve cried. He hadn’t had one this bad since he was eight years old.

He didn’t know how long he stood there for, trying to get a hold of himself but when there was a knock on the door, he startled. Steve made his way over, not able to deny himself the hope that maybe it was Bucky. Only when Steve opened the door, it wasn’t him, it was his neighbor, Mr. Stan Lee.

“Hello Steven, are you alright?” His shaky voice said, concerned. “I don’t mean to eavesdrop but you sounded distressed.”

Steve wanted to shake his head and tell him not to worry, but he couldn’t. Instead his lip quivered so he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to scrub away the tears.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bother you.” Steve said in a watery voice.

“Nonsense, I promised your mother I would look out for you.”

“Still, I’m sorry. God, I feel so stupid, crying over a guy.”

“I may not know what’s going on but might I offer a piece of advice?” Stan peered at him, waiting for Steve to nod before going on. “Don’t let your fears hold you back. You’re a brave young man and if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.”

“Thanks for the advice Mr. Lee, and for looking out for me. I’ll be fine, though, so you can get back to whatever you were doing.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I’ve got a lot to think about today.” Steve hesitated for a moment before stepping forward to hug him. Mr. Lee squeezed him right back, patting him between the shoulder blades.

When he finally pulled away, feeling slightly better, Mr. Lee said, “Alright, just take care of yourself. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. See you on laundry day.”

Steve closed the door once Stan had reached his own apartment door before making his way back to the living room to turn off the movie. There was no way he was going to be able to finish watching it now.

 

"Hey, mom." Steve sighed into the phone.

"Hello, honey; what's wrong?" Steve winced at the concern in her voice. He hadn't meant to make her worry.

"It's nothing ma, how are you?"

"Steven Grant, you promised me that you would tell me if you had a problem when you decided to move up there. How can we be close if you're keeping things from me?"

Steve resisted a groan at the guilt trip as he grabbed a box of honey frosted flakes and began to push his cart along the grocer aisle. "It's nothing really--I just screwed up with a friend is all."

"Oh," she sighed, mama bear mode temporarily put aside. "Well, did you apologize?"

"Yeah, of course I did, but it's not that easy."

"Well do you want to talk about it? Maybe a fresh perspective will help."

Steve felt his sad heart warm at that. His mother, ever the optimist, always told Steve to see the silver lining in everything. If things were going badly with someone, she was the first to cheer him on and not judge him. Of course, she'd give him a kick in the butt when she thought he needed it, but she was always on his side.

"I guess it couldn't hurt." He turned his cart into another aisle and set forth to finding the rest of the food on his mental list. "There's this guy--"

"'Ooh, a guy!" His mother cooed teasingly.

"Ma!" He groaned.

"Sorry, I'll behave." Steve could hear the smile in her voice. Sarah Rogers had the same tendency to act like a punk as Bucky liked to say about Steve.  Never tell her he said that, though, or she'd have his hide hanging on her wall with that verbal lashing she had perfected over the years of dealing with Steve's troublemaking.

"Anyway, there's this guy and I really like him, but I told him from the beginning that I wasn't ready for a relationship."

"Uh huh."

"And it's been going fine but two days ago we sorta kissed. He got upset because I was giving him mixed signals and I apologized, but it's not enough."

"Hmm." The line was quiet for a moment as she took in Steve's quick (and honestly, rather bland) rundown of the events. "And how are you feeling about Peggy?"

"Well, I'm not as upset as I was before, but I don't think..." Steve didn't think he was worth the hassle in his current state. "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship."

"You're not ready, or you're afraid?"

And that made Steve pause because it was scary how, even states away, she knew what he was really feeling.

"Honey, I'm going to be honest with you. Whatever you had with Peggy is not worth staking your future happiness on. She could have chosen to seek out a relationship with you again, but she didn't. You shouldn't have burdened her with your happiness--" and ouch, that hurt coming from his mother. "You both must have known even before Daniel that things weren't right between the two of you; you wouldn't have drifted apart otherwise. If you really like this young man then you'll sort yourself out and take a leap of faith. And if not, then don't string him along. He deserves to know if friendship is all you want."

Just like that, Sarah had cut through months of frustration and pining.

Steve couldn't hide from it any longer. Letting out a strangled laugh, he said, "You know, if you were a lawyer, you would destroy your opponent in court."

"I know honey. It's why I'm a nurse instead. Gotta show some restraint."

Steve let out a real laugh at that. "Thanks for the advice, ma."

"Of course ,Stevie, I--” Whatever she was about to say next was interrupted by the tell-tale beeping noise accompanied by a buzzing that signaled he had another call coming in.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that. I've got another call coming in. Can I talk to you later?"

"Sure, but not too late, I have the evening shift today." His ma said.

"Okay, love you, bye."

"I love you too, bye"

She hung up, and Steve hurriedly pressed the answer button without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"What did you do, Steve?" Natasha's chilly voice sounded over the phone.

"Hi Tasha, I'm good, how was your day?" Steve snarked back. He didn't appreciate being told off for something he didn't even know about the moment he answered the phone.

"You didn't show up to class today and Bucky was off the entire time." She said, as if that enough was proof.

"Wow, gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. And you think that's my fault?"

"I wouldn't if it wasn't for the fact that Clint came up to me after class complaining about how you'd broken Bucky's heart. What happened?"

Steve bristled. He really didn't like the attitude Natasha was taking with him. Whatever had down with him and Bucky, it was their issue, not hers. Plus, the fact that she immediately seemed to take Bucky's, side even after knowing Steve for all these years, hurt.

"I didn't break his heart. Whatever happened is none of your business, so I'd appreciate it if you would have a little faith in me."

"I do have faith in you, but I watched you pine over Peggy for months and I don't want you to ruin a good thing…”

Steve resisted the urge to hang up and counted to ten. “Look, I know I messed up, but what happened… I’m fixing it, so please…”

He could practically hear the gears in his best friend’s head turning. “Okay, I trust you,”

And just like that, Steve deflated. He hated fighting with Natasha; his stubborn pride and her sharp jabs never made for a pretty ending. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Steve?” She spoke, this time softer. “Whatever you decide, I’ll support you. Just don’t screw it up if you decide it’s worth it.”

“I’ll try not to.”

“Good luck, Steve.” And then the line was dead.

“I’ll need it.” He muttered, returning the phone to his pocket.

Steve bit his lips in anxiety and anticipation. It just figured that he’d get double-whammied with a phone call from two of the strongest women in his life within the span of a few minutes. Steve honestly didn't know what Natasha’s intentions were anymore. Was she trying to be supportive, or was she tired of Steve's bull?

Steve went about picking out his groceries and he was turning into the fresh produce aisle when he ran into Peggy and Daniel. Steve couldn't help it, he cursed out loud. Things really did come in threes, didn’t they?

Peggy stopped laughing and Daniel jerked his cart away just in time to avoid a collision.

"Steve," Peggy breathed.

Daniel looked uncomfortable, but nodded hello. He and Steve hadn't seen each other since the time Peggy had invited Steve along to the bar with the rest of her work friends. That had been a week before the breakup. "Hi, Steve."

Steve resisted the urge to let his frown go from contemplative to wary. "Hi," he murmured. What was he supposed to say? He wasn't in the mood to sort out the complicated mess things with Peggy had turned into. Right now he really just wanted to go home and figure out what he was going to do about Bucky.

Except he wasn't thinking about how Peggy had hurt him, was he? That was actually the furthest thing from his mind... so maybe things with Peggy weren't as complicated as they had been. Steve sucked in a slightly wheezy breath and ignored the headache forming.

Okay, so maybe there's that, but Steve still didn't think he and Peggy could ever be friends again. How could they, after how bad things had gotten between the two after they'd ended their relationship.

"Well I... didn't expect to see you here." Peggy recovered, clasping her red manicured hands together.

"It's the closest one to my apartment." Steve said, slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh, that's right... I forgot. We were just visiting Daniel's mother. She lives around here, actually."

How could she have forgotten? Steve pinched his eyebrows together. "Oh, well... that's uh... good." He cringed internally. Geez, how awkward could he be?

"So how have things been? All good I hope?" Peggy looked unsure, but at the same time sounded hopeful. Steve didn't know what to do with that. He couldn't really summon up the energy to direct his bad mood onto her. He was tired of all the negative energy in his life. If it wasn't about politics or bullies, then he really didn't feel like arguing or getting angry.

Steve looked down at his feet and pulled in another shaky breath.

If he was going to start fixing things, he may as well start with the oldest problem.

It was now or never.

Looking back up to the two, Steve summoned up strength from somewhere deep inside of him. "Look Peggy, Daniel; I'm sorry." The couple in front of him looked stunned but before they could say something, Steve pressed on. "I know I haven't exactly been open to change and I've hurt people I care about. I projected my insecurities onto you and I blamed you for something I said I wouldn't, Peggy. And Daniel, I blamed you for something that wasn't your fault, either. I was petty and jealous, so I'm sorry for being such a jerk."

"Wow, I uh..." Daniel started, stunned.

"I don't know what to say," Peggy blinked. "I honestly half expected for us to never see each other again."

Steve nodded, that made sense. Up until today, he hadn't thought of seeing her ever again either. "Well now that that's out of the way, I've got some stuff to take care of, so see ya around."

It felt awkward to just throw that out there and run, but he had to figure out what to do with Bucky. He wouldn't feel right until things were settled. Backing up a few steps, Steve made to pass them.

"Steve wait, can't we talk?" Peggy stepped in front of him and grasped his shoulder.

"I actually have something important to take care of. I know it's a jerk move to just throw that out there and run but, I--"

"Pegs," Daniel interrupted eyes flickering between the two. "He has someone he needs to talk to, don't you?"

And in that moment, Steve was grateful to him. He nodded and Peggy let him go with a fierce look in her eyes. "Alright, but this isn't over yet. I want to have a proper talk, okay?"

"Okay." Steve agreed. Without any further delays, he hurried to the cashier and paid for his groceries, before practically jogging down the street.

His ma was right; if he wanted to have anything with Bucky, friendship or not, he was going to have to figure out what he wanted. Steve knew just the place to do that.

 

When Steve made it home, he'd immediately put his groceries away before changing out of his jeans and T-shirt. He quickly threw on a pair of sweats and then grabbed his comfortable boots and an umbrella since it seemed like the clouds outside were getting darker. It was probably going to rain soon, but Steve didn't want to wait until tomorrow.

He headed right back out the door after that and went straight to the subway station. The Art of Dreaming was all the way by Prospect Park, and walking from Cobble Hill would take forever.


	5. Steve fixes things and there is fluff. The end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve fixes things and then there is fluff. The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the final chapter, and check out @DumpsterDiving101's art,  
> [art here](https://dansphlevels.tumblr.com/post/183283559348/this-is-art-i-did-for-the-stucky-au-big-bang-2018#notes%E2%80%9C%E2%80%9D)  
> I've tried embeding the art but no matter what I do, it doesn't come up so you guy's will just have to check out the link. I do have to say though so there's no confusion, despite the picture, Bucky does have short hair as previously mentioned in the fic. I just didn't want anyone to get confused about why the art shows something else but it's so cute, isn't it?  
> I hope you all enjoyed this much more than I enjoyed writing it, haha. I'm glad it's finally over though I am really proud of it, romcom's are not my thing. The next long fic I write will probably be some sort drama/angst thing.  
> Also major kudos to my beta Megs-bee for helping me figure out the ending and just in general being such a big help with this fic!! Thanks for all the support and help! Check out their ao3 page!  
> Also let me know what you thought of this fic down in the comments below! Comments make the world go round.

Steve pushed open the double doors to the familiar building to escape the now drizzling rain and slowly made his way inside. He'd checked to make sure that Bucky didn't have any classes at the moment but was still clocked in. He didn't want to go inside only to have it all be for naught.

Peter sat at the front desk today, instead of Darcy. Steve was kind of relieved. As much as he liked Darcy's cheerfulness, he'd come to recognize that she had the tendency to be a bit chatty. He didn't want anything to hold him up.

Peter nodded to him and set his phone down. "Hey, you need anything?"

"Ah, not really. I just really need to talk to Bucky if that's okay. Do you know if he's here?"

"Yeah, he's in the upstairs gym. He's got about half an hour before his next class. You want me to call him for you, or..."

"No, that's fine. I'll just go on up if that's okay. See ya."  Steve waved and Peter smiled at him almost knowingly.

"A word of advice from a fellow disaster?" Peter called out amusedly when Steve started heading towards the wide stairs on the left side of the lobby. "Make sure you say everything you want to say clearly. Leave no room for misunderstandings. Trust me, I've been there. Well not _there_ , but, you know, there."

Anyone else and Steve would have been annoyed at the presumptuousness, but from everything Steve had seen, Peter wore his heart on his sleeve while he fumbled with words. Even if Steve did have a tendency to eat his more vulnerable feelings, he could relate to being a disaster. Sam and Natasha had called him so more times than he could count.

Steve smiled ruefully. "Thanks."

Heading upstairs, Steve could feel his heart beating in his throat and his hands felt clammy. Rubbing his hands on his pants, Steve tried to steel himself for whatever outcome he'd be facing. It'd only been a few days, but Bucky would have had the chance to think on things a bit. What if Steve caught him at a time when he didn't want anything to do with Steve?

Steve knew he'd never be able to argue against that. If Bucky asked him to leave his life after this semester’s session was over, then Steve would have to listen. He wouldn't be one of those persistent jerks who couldn't take no for an answer.

God, Steve hoped he hadn't screwed everything up beyond repair. Bucky had said that he'd be willing to just be friends, could Steve cling to at least that?

He had to believe that things would work out. Steve _was_ working on his issues, he really was. He knew he wasn't perfect and that maybe his self deprecating humor was a little bit more than just humor. He was perfectly aware that he waffled on some things and was stupidly reckless about others. Bucky had said he'd liked him despite all of this.

And Steve wasn't stupid, he wasn't pinning his mental health and wellbeing on another person; that wouldn't be fair, but he'd wasted enough time being scared of what could happen with Bucky.

He wanted to take the chance that they could be happy together.

Sucking in a deep breath of air, Steve made his way to the large grey double doors to the right of the landing and shuffled over there. He could hear the faintest traces of the latest pop music flowing out from the room and Steve took a moment to focus on that so that he could center himself. He didn't want to make a fool of himself, and he didn't want to look uncertain just because he was anxious.

Shoving open one of the doors took a bit more effort that Steve expected. He'd been going for dramatic, and instead misjudged how heavy the doors were. His cheeks flared to life but he ignored that along with the tightness in his chest. It was now or never. Steve scanned the room and spotted Bucky by the window, practicing on the ring apparatus. He'd only ever seen him do trapeze, so to see him swinging around, using just his upper arm strength made Steve's mouth go a bit dry. It was both intimidating and impressive.

Even from across the room, Steve could tell that the pinched look on his face wasn't just from concentration. What had Steve gotten himself into?

He forced himself to take a few steps forward, but he didn't make it very far before someone had noticed him.

"Hey Bucky! Looks like you got a visitor." The same white-haired girl Steve had seen on Peter's camera hollered. Steve wanted to hate her in that moment. He'd hoped he would have had a few more seconds before he had to start talking.

Steve resisted the urge to glare at her out of pettiness. She might have been a stranger to him, but apparently his and Bucky's friendship was common knowledge amongst his coworkers. Steve didn't know how to feel about that.

Feeling eyes on him, Steve glanced around the room and noticed that Clint and a few others had taken a passing interest in him. Finally, looking toward the big arched windows on his right, he met Bucky's piercing gaze. Steve couldn't tell what he was thinking as he dropped down onto the blue mats below him.

Steve really hoped he hadn't made the biggest mistake of his life by admitting his uncertainty the other night. He really hoped this wouldn't be the last time they would get to talk sincerely.

Steve shot him a lame wave and an apologetic smile.

Bucky just stood there for a moment, looking at him before nodding once. He motioned for Steve to go over and Steve didn't hesitate after that. It felt like the longest and the shortest walk ever. Steve had already figured out what he wanted to say, now he just needed to follow through.

"Hi Bucky," Steve murmured, coming to a stop where Bucky was taking a swig from his water bottle.

"Hey." Bucky wiped his left arm over his forehead.

"Can we talk?"

"Okay," Bucky nodded. "I've got a few minutes."

Steve braced himself. "Before I say anything, I just want you to know that I've thought this over and it's not just me talking out of my ass. I really do mean it."

Bucky bit his lip and glanced around instead of saying anything. Then he grabbed Steve's upper arm gently and jerked his head to the windows. "Let's talk over there. Too many busybodies who can't mind their own damn business."

Steve nodded and followed, resisting the urge to jerk his arm out of Bucky’s grip out of habit. Over by the windows, Bucky crossed his arms defensively. That combined with the dreary streets behind him seemed almost as if the world was trying to preemptively tell Steve that he stood no chance.

Raising his eyebrows, Bucky said, “So? What is it?”

Steve stood a bit straighter puffed out his chest a bit. “First of all, I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a real jerk, leading you on, and you didn’t deserve that. I know I’ve been all hot and cold and I’ve made a real mess of things.”

“Steve,” Bucky sighed.

“No, let me talk; I’m going somewhere with this. We’ve had a great couple a weeks just having fun and I’d like to say I know you pretty well by now. I really am sorry for freaking out this weekend but I think, no I know…” Steve looked him square in the eye. “I know that I’m in love with you and that if I don’t stop sabotaging myself, I’m never going to be happy. I’m happy with you, Bucky, and I’ve been using Peggy as an excuse so I wouldn’t have to confront my own issues. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to hang my happiness on you or anything, I just don’t want to--”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” Steve breathed anxiously.

“You put me through hell these past few days. Just shut up and kiss me, you punk.” Bucky grabbed Steve and pulled him close in what he would later swear was a jittery anticipation on Bucky’s part.

 

“I want you to come with me when I talk to Peggy,” Steve blurted out two days later. He’d already set up the meeting with her over at L&L’s diner but now that it was the day of, he was starting to chicken out.

Bucky furrowed his brows and looked up from where he was chopping up some tomatoes for their lunch. “Are you sure that’s okay? From what you’ve told me, you two still have some patching up to do.”

“I know but…” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “I could really use the moral support. I’ve screwed things up enough with her and I want to fix things. If you’re there… if you’re there, then maybe I won’t feel so on edge. Besides, I’m sure she’d want to meet you.”

Bucky set down the knife and circled the island counter so he could grab Steve’s hands. “If you feel that strongly about it then I’ll go with you, but--”

“I know, I know. I have to be the one to fix things.” Steve paused. “Thanks Bucky, it really does mean a lot to me.” Steve gave a nervous smile. His stomach was in knots. They still had an hour until they’d have to go, but it felt like an eternity.

“No problem. You know I’ll always have your back, punk.” Bucky pressed a kiss to his forehead, smoothing back Steve’s hair.

“Ditto, jerk.”

Bucky gasped playfully and Steve attempted to pull back, grinning, only to have Bucky grip his arms tighter. “Ditto? I’m expressing my undying devotion here, and all you have to say is ‘ditto’?”

“Yup,” Steve chuckled, enjoying the warm feeling spreading inside of him right then.

“Oh, you’re a real romantic, aren’t ya?”

“So, you finally noticed?”

“You’re a real punk.”  Bucky let one hand go so he could tickle Steve’s sides. Steve squealed, trying to get away, but to no avail. Steve tried to hunch over and use his leg to protect his side, but that only caused Bucky to use his grip on his other arm to twirl him so he was facing with his back to him.

“You’re so gonna get it!”

“Bucky!” Steve giggled. In this position he wasn’t able to protect himself, and Bucky had full access to his stomach with his arms now curled around Steve’s waist. Dollface lifted her head from where she lay by the side of the couch, barking curiously. “Dolly, help!” Dollface barked again and got up, this time her with her tail wagging.

“That’s cheating!” Bucky laughed, picking Steve up now instead of tickling him. “Doll, stay!”

Dollface ignored Bucky and galloped excitedly over to the wide double archway of the kitchen, bouncing around the two of them and shoving her nose against their legs.

“ _Bork!_ ” Her deceptively deep bark was the only warning they got right before she jumped up and rested her paws against Steve’s squirming torso and Bucky’s bare arms.

“Ow,” Steve laughed at the sharp claws digging into his side as he rubbed her face. “That’s my hero; such a pretty girl, aren’t you?”

“ _Bork, bork!_ ” She started licking at the two of them.

“Alright, alright, you win, you cheater!” Bucky bumped his face against Steve’s ear. “You had outside help.”

Bucky said something in sharp Russian, and Dollface shoved off of them both to stand at alert in front of them, still panting and wagging her tail. Once Steve was set down, he turned around slightly to give Bucky a slow, deep kiss.

“But I’m your cheater, aren’t I?” Steve murmured against his lips, once he pulled away.

“And I’m all yours,” Bucky replied fondly before pulling away. “Alright, let me finish making lunch, although I guess it’s kind of redundant to do so now that I’m going with you.”

“I mean, that’d be kind of awkward though, wouldn’t it? Just ordering a full lunch and sitting down to eat it when we’re supposed to be having a serious conversation?” And as Steve says it, he realized how hypocritical he sounds. After all, he did do just the same thing the last time he went to the diner. To be fair, though, he hadn’t expected to run into Peggy that time.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “It’s only awkward if we make it. Besides, we can just grab it to go and bring it back here. I’ll just save these ingredients for dinner tonight and--you are staying for dinner, aren’t you?

“Of course, Gabe said he was going to bring over Dum Dum and the guys for Cards Against Humanity.”

“Ah shit, right, I forgot. You still haven’t met Morita and Monty, have you?”

Steve shook his head.

The rest of their hour passed by relatively uneventfully, sitting on the couch and petting Dollface. At one point, Bucky had even pulled out his phone to snap a picture of Steve and Dollface acting ‘cute’. Once it was time for them to leave, Dollface started to whine, not wanting to be left behind. She even tried to drag over her leash so she could go along, but to no avail. Dogs weren’t allowed in the subway or inside public restaurants.

The closer they got to the diner, the more bundled up Steve’s nerves became. He spent nearly the entire second half of their subway ride fiddling with his fingers until Bucky finally grabbed his hands and kissed them.

“It’s gonna be fine.” And for all Steve’s worrying, Bucky wasn’t jealous or anything. It made the knot in his gut ease up a bit at how much Bucky seemed to trust him.

“You know I love you, right?” Steve leaned his head into the crook of his neck, ignoring the stares he was getting from the thirteen year old across from them.

“And I love you, so stop worrying.”

“Can’t, it’s in my bones. You picked a worrier and now you’ve gotta deal with the consequences.” Steve’s leg started bouncing.

Bucky chuckled, but didn’t say anything. Instead he just nudged his nose into Steve’s hair and squeezed his hands.

Once they got off the subway, it wasn’t far to the diner. The late spring heat was really beginning to make the top of Steve’s head feel uncomfortably warm. Fortunately for them, A&L’s was air-conditioned, so it wouldn’t matter in a few seconds.

Steve took in a breath of air before nodding to Bucky, who had paused in reaching for the door. He was ready to finally put all the drama with Peggy behind him. Steve wanted to be able to move forward without anymore lingering negative emotions so he could finally start a new chapter in his life.

Inside the diner, he could see Angie looking bored to tears while she listened to a customer who presumably was droning on about something stupid. When she caught sight of Steve and Bucky she looked between the two of them, then winked at Steve, a cheshire grin forming on her face before pointing to a booth on their left.

“Here we go.” Steve stood straighter and made his way over, with Bucky following closely behind.

“Hello, Steve. Who’s this?”

“Hey, Peggy,” Steve said quietly. “This is Bucky, my boyfriend. I asked him to come, if that’s alright with you? I wanted you two to meet.”

Peggy gave him a warm smile and stood up so she could hold out her hand. “Peggy Carter. It’s nice to meet you.”

Once the introductions were all done, they sat down and talked. Steve and Peggy talked out a few lingering things, and then she got to know Bucky. By the time they were done talking, at least forty minutes had gone by. Angie had even taken her break to faux-grill Bucky about taking care of ‘their boy’ and how Steve had ‘caught a real looker; where can I get me one of those, Stevie?’

Steve was finally able to let things settle, and he couldn’t be happier at how Bucky and Peggy were getting along. A little bit too well, if you asked Steve. There was no animosity on either side, and while Steve was sure it would take a while to reach a point where he could just call up Peggy to hang out, they were at least a little bit closer.

And really, what more could he ask for?

 

“Hey ma,” Steve said shyly to the webcam. “This is Bucky: the guy I told you about.”

“Hello, Ms. Rogers,” Bucky waved his free hand while the other was draped across Steve's shoulders.

“Oh, what a handsome young man!” Ms. Rogers teased. “I hope you’re taking care of my boy, now.”

“Ma!” Steve whined exasperatedly.

Bucky chuckled and squeezed Steve’s shoulder. “Of course I am, ma’am. It’s nice to finally meet you--well sort of.”

“None of that ‘‘ma’am’ or ‘Ms.’ now, you can call me Sarah.” Steve’s ma paused a moment, eyeing their satiny tops. “What have you boys been up to?”

Steve grinned, ducking his head and Bucky laughed. “Well, Steve here just performed his first sequence with the rest of the class. We filmed it for you, actually; he did pretty good!”

“You’re one of the instructors for that class, right? Oh honey, that’s wonderful! I bet you were so handsome!” Her bright blue eyes with hints of green crinkled in delight.

“Ma!” Steve whined again.

“Steve never did tell me how you two met officially, Bucky. Would you mind telling me about it?”

Bucky shot Steve an amused glance at his mother’s nosiness. Steve loved her, but when she was excited she could be just as nosy as Natasha was, which was not a good thing. Steve just shrugged. If Bucky wanted to tell her, Steve didn’t mind. He just hoped Bucky left out the embarrassing bits.

He didn’t need his ma hearing about how hard he was drooling over Bucky’s Instagram, now did he?

“We actually met  because Steve liked a photo of my dog on Instagram--”

“Oh, is it that one where she’s a puppy in the sink? Your dog is just adorable, by the way.”

Bucky scrunched his face in confusion and realization made Steve’s face burn. His ma really was a menace when it came to the Internet.

“ _Ma_ , I can’t believe you!”

Sarah Rogers snickered while Bucky still looked confused. “How does she know about my Instagram?”

“Because,” Steve sighed. “She’s a menace when it comes to the internet. She stalks my social medias and Natasha encourages her. She’s even friends with Sam on Twitter.”

Bucky raised an amused eyebrow and just hummed.

His ma just rolled her eyes. “Oh, it’s not as bad as it sounds. I just want to make sure my son is doing well. After all, I’m sure you know how stubborn he can be when it comes to troubling others.”

“Oh, I know,” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Trust me, I know.”

“Now that we’re on the same page, would you mind continuing?” She was incorrigible. Steve was honestly lucky that she wasn’t living in NYC to meddle in his affairs.

And so Bucky continued on with the occasional input--more like Steve trying to make sure Bucky didn't exaggerate Steve’s side of things too much. His mother and Bucky seemed to get along and honestly, that was such a relief. Steve and Bucky had been anxious before about whether or not his ma would like Bucky. And despite his mother’s apparent attempts at embarrassing him, Steve was in a good mood--still riding off of the high of succeeding at not butchering the sequence they had prepared in trapeze class he supposed.

Steve threw his head back, laughing at something ridiculous Bucky had said.

For the first time in a long time, Steve could honestly say he was happy with his life the way it was. No regrets, no guilty consciences. There was only the warm and tingly feeling of being happy and in love. Looking back at when he’s first been roped into the class a few months ago, he was glad he’d let Natasha bully him into taking the class. If it hadn’t been for her, he would never have gotten a chance at any of this.

“Shit,” Steve blinked.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky looked at him.

“I guess I really do owe Natasha.” Steve groaned. “She’s never gonna let me hear the end of this.”

“Why would you owe her anything?” His mother asked, concerned.

Steve rolled his eyes. Oh, it just figured Natasha would have been right all along. Bucky was probably the whole reason why she’d signed him up in the first place. After all, she kew Steve like the back of her hand. Or an evil sister. “Because it’s thanks to her we even met at all.

“Shit, you’re probably right!” Bucky laughed.

As annoying as it would be to admit it to her, he honestly didn’t mind her meddling; after all, it had led him to Bucky.

“I love you,” Steve murmured.

“I love you, too.” Bucky gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

So yeah, Steve could safely say that things had worked out just fine, even if it had been a bit rocky in the beginning.


End file.
